Meet our New Employee, Mr. Bear!

Dear Friends, Enemies, and Assorted Hangers-on and Sycophants:

Some of you may remember my post from a couple of weeks ago when I was interviewing Mr. Biggie Bear.  Mr. Bear was seeking full-time high paid employment at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises in order to support his wife and 3 Bear Cubs.

Mr Bear InterviewMany, or maybe it might actually only be one of you, have inquired if Mr. Biggie Bear got employment with my company and if this story has a happy ending and Mr. Bear can now be a productive member of the American workforce and can now support his family.

The answer is no.

Well, let me qualify that – Mr. Bear did not present the proper qualifications for paid employment at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises.  What are those qualifications, you ask?  Well, I’ll tell ya – Those qualifications for paid employment are:

1. Are you a child?

2. Are you currently living in a 3rd world country, preferably Bangladesh?

3. Does your country have lax child labor and occupational safety laws and enforcement?

If all 3 of those qualifications are met, then you just might be Angus Fala Worldwide Material.  Unfortunately, Mr. Bear did not have any of those 3 items on his resume.

But I got good news.  I was able to extend Mr. Bear an offer as a permanant unpaid, 80 hour a week unpaid intern, and he did accept.  It means he had to divorce his wife and place his 3 cubs in the home of his uncle, Smokey, but hey, personal life is none of my concern.  I’m running a business here, not a social club!

Angus & Mr. Bear Dec 2014Here is Mr. Bear on his first day on the job.  I’m letting him watch as I show him how the CEO of Angus Fala Worldwide (that would be me) digs into his latest performance bonus.

So far, he is doing well.  He is not saying a heck of a lot (unlike Ainsley), but he seems pretty slow and doesn’t move around much either.  Just so he doesn’t mess with my toys, I think we’ll be a-ok.

All the Best,
Sgt. Angus Fala, Chief Executive Officer & Chairman of the Board
Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises, LTD INC LLC

19 thoughts on “Meet our New Employee, Mr. Bear!”

    1. Yes, absolutely! I get sooooo tired of the 99 percenters complaining and whining about those of us in the top one percent. I mean really – wouldn’t soccer be meaningless without a goal? That’s what we one percenters are doing – we are presenting a goal for the 99 percenters to shoot for. And just like soccer, with all its scoreless games, of course, the 99 percenters have no chance to ever score and make it into the top one percent, but I’m happy to be out there on that field of life being that goal. You’re welcome, you poor dirty slimy people of the underclass, you are most welcome indeed! Now, stay away from my gate!

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, we have good news here at Angus Fala Worldwide. We’ve eliminated the sweat in the word sweatshop. The Biological Studies Department of Angus Fala Worldwide have discovered that if you don’t allow the little cretins on the factory floor, I mean, “manufacturing associates”, to rehydrate, then they can’t sweat. So we’ve eliminated all water sources, and fixed that issue.

      Like

  1. The thirsty workforce could move quicker too for a little while at least…
    Brilliant management / leadership tecnique… keep ’em skinny
    and dried iut. Replace them when they don’t perform or show signs of weakness!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Perhaps Ainsley can figure out a way to keep the factory minions working without sleep then you could get even more production. I think Biggie Bear could also be used to keep the dreaded *cats* away

    Liked by 1 person

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