Dear Friends, Enemies, and Assorted Hangers-on and Sycophants:
Some of you may remember my post from a couple of weeks ago when I was interviewing Mr. Biggie Bear. Mr. Bear was seeking full-time high paid employment at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises in order to support his wife and 3 Bear Cubs.
Many, or maybe it might actually only be one of you, have inquired if Mr. Biggie Bear got employment with my company and if this story has a happy ending and Mr. Bear can now be a productive member of the American workforce and can now support his family.
The answer is no.
Well, let me qualify that – Mr. Bear did not present the proper qualifications for paid employment at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises. What are those qualifications, you ask? Well, I’ll tell ya – Those qualifications for paid employment are:
1. Are you a child?
2. Are you currently living in a 3rd world country, preferably Bangladesh?
3. Does your country have lax child labor and occupational safety laws and enforcement?
If all 3 of those qualifications are met, then you just might be Angus Fala Worldwide Material. Unfortunately, Mr. Bear did not have any of those 3 items on his resume.
But I got good news. I was able to extend Mr. Bear an offer as a permanant unpaid, 80 hour a week unpaid intern, and he did accept. It means he had to divorce his wife and place his 3 cubs in the home of his uncle, Smokey, but hey, personal life is none of my concern. I’m running a business here, not a social club!
So far, he is doing well. He is not saying a heck of a lot (unlike Ainsley), but he seems pretty slow and doesn’t move around much either. Just so he doesn’t mess with my toys, I think we’ll be a-ok.
All the Best,
Sgt. Angus Fala, Chief Executive Officer & Chairman of the Board
Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises, LTD INC LLC