05 Dec 2014 0715 Local Time
From: Sgt. Angus Fala
Re: Post Patrol Report – First Patrol for PFC Biggie Bear
Area: Environs and immediate proximate vicinity of Angus Manor, Northern Illinois Scottie Patrol Assigned Area
Enclosures and/or Attachments: Photographic Representation (see above) of myself, Sgt. Angus, and PFC (Formerly Mr.) Bear prior to Patrol
Troops and Weaponry: Sgt. Angus Fala, Cpl Ainsley McKenna (not shown), PFC Biggie Bear, Scottie Staff Hooman Combat Photographer (Expendable), 2 Polymer Based Attack Repellent Cranium Cover i.e. PBARCC (Ainsley refuses to wear hers), 2 Standard Issue Scottie Jaws Rated for Closed Quarter Combat, and Standard Issue Scottie Mouths for Long Range Acoustic Salvo Launching
Details of Patrol: It was the first patrol for PFC Bear. Bear successfully attended pre-combat training for a cadet of his rank, however, people kept honking and laughing and yelling and pointing – almost like they have never seen a Bear and a Scottie wearing a helmet walking down the sidewalk before. Weird. Obviously, stealth was not achieved – I am recommending that PFC Bear attend and successfully complete Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises – Defense Division: How to be a Ninja seminar.
I certify these details to be accurately recalled: Sgt. Angus Fala