Scottie Patrol Report – Form 2325A-Rev 2014
05 Dec 2014 0715 Local Time
From: Sgt. Angus Fala
Re: Post Patrol Report – First Patrol for PFC Biggie Bear
Area: Environs and immediate proximate vicinity of Angus Manor, Northern Illinois Scottie Patrol Assigned Area
Enclosures and/or Attachments: Photographic Representation (see above) of myself, Sgt. Angus, and PFC (Formerly Mr.) Bear prior to Patrol
Troops and Weaponry: Sgt. Angus Fala, Cpl Ainsley McKenna (not shown), PFC Biggie Bear, Scottie Staff Hooman Combat Photographer (Expendable), 2 Polymer Based Attack Repellent Cranium Cover i.e. PBARCC (Ainsley refuses to wear hers), 2 Standard Issue Scottie Jaws Rated for Closed Quarter Combat, and Standard Issue Scottie Mouths for Long Range Acoustic Salvo Launching
Casualties: 0
Enemies Contacted:0
Details of Patrol: It was the first patrol for PFC Bear. Bear successfully attended pre-combat training for a cadet of his rank, however, people kept honking and laughing and yelling and pointing – almost like they have never seen a Bear and a Scottie wearing a helmet walking down the sidewalk before. Weird. Obviously, stealth was not achieved – I am recommending that PFC Bear attend and successfully complete Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises – Defense Division: How to be a Ninja seminar.
I certify these details to be accurately recalled: Sgt. Angus Fala
Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises 
So let me understand this correctly sir..yesterday he gets reprimanded for fraternising with the enemy..today you enrol him in your platoon..am I missing something ???😳😳😳😳
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Private Bear does not strike me as a Lean Mean Fighting Machine. In fact, He could be a “Trojan Horse” stuffed with cats ! . , I don’t like that constant smirk. Uncle Bob
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If passers-by were honking and pointing, obviously the bear was drawing unwanted attention. He doesn’t appear to be able to keep under cover and divert attention from himself. Be very careful of this one, Sir.
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Angus, may have a solution for the plight of Pfc. Bear, while attending Fala to the Rescue in Warm Springs last month there was a huge Scottie, perhaps he can find a Scottie costume and blend in with the rest troops better
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I needs that! I’m looking on line for a Big Scottie, Like Mr. Bear – but I can’t find one.
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I don’t trust PFC Bear.
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I thought you were gonna muster him out !!
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Wrong form. You should have used Department Uv Defense form DUD-87. Please resubmit in quadruplicate.
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Excellent report Sgt……your right PFC Bear needs to shape up our ship out, this is second offense, one more and its the highway!
The Mad Scots
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