Date: 14 JAN 2014
Time: 0745 CST
Location: Western Hemisphere: N America Continent: US Country: Illinois State: Lasalle County: Peru township and city: Angus sector

To: Scottie High Command
From: Sgt Angus Fala
Re: AM Patrol
Mission Goals: recon and threat suppression
Equipment: 1 high tech camouflage uniform blue and orange
Personnel: Sgt Angus Fala, Pfc Ainsley Mckenna, 1 hooman combat photographer
Environmental Conditions: cloudy, 4F (-16C), Freezing Fog
Patrol Length: .8 miles (1.35k)
Result: Effective
Enemy/Neutral/Friendly/Civilian Casualties: 0/0/0/0

Narrative: went on a morning patrol.  Had to walk in street as sidewalks covered with white frozen precipitation (aka snow). Only enemy sighted were 2 black dogs who launched approximately 15 medium range acoustic salvos (aka barks) in our direction. There fire was ineffective.  We quickly determined they were quarantined in their boundary constraint structure (aka fence) and did not return fire and continued our patrol. We observed a yellow little hooman and would be juvenile delinquent personnel carrier (aka skool bus). Interestingly, bus stopped in front of a residence but no little hoomans came out. Yellow personnel carrier moved on with no pickup. I recommend that SWAT (scottie weapons and tactics) division send a team on a no knock insertion into the house to ascertain that no terrorists, hobos, joggers, bicyclists or huskies are holding that household hostage. We made it back to Base safety.   Jpg of our patrol attached to this report.

I certify this report is accurate.
Sgt Angus Fala