Waiting

I spend most of my days waiting.

Waiting by the living room window.

Waiting while watching the time pass.

Waiting with my brother Angus on the mantle, protected by his devil ball honor guard.  And Angus’ predecessor Aberdeen next to him.

Waiting too is Angus’ loyal steed, Pinko.

Waiting for patrols  to carry Angus on adventures that will never come.

They tell me to stop waiting and move on. But not yet. I’m still waiting.

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25 thoughts on “Waiting”

    1. Yes, and not a day has gone by that we have thought a very good day indeed in Angus life was that trip to Tulsa, and especially that Saturday (it was Saturday right? Or was it a Sunday?) at that dog park. And again, thank you for organizing that. At this morning’s planning session in the boardroom of Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises we decided to do a one year anniversary retrospective of that day for next week’s Time Travel Thursday.

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  1. you are honoring Angus Fala by waiting….. his spirit is with you… hear the angel wings flutter in the breeze… that’s him giving you gentle kisses.

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    1. As much as all of us miss Angus, we know that his absence speaks volumes for you, Ainsley, Catman, Mama and Uncle Bob and Aunt Judy. A Scottie that meant so much in the lives of so many will never be forgotten

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  2. Ainsley, Grief is a tricky thing. You may feel as if you are in a daze..it’s ok. You have to take your time and do it at your own pace, and be good to yourself. This is a checklist Hospice sent me recently, as it has been one year after my Father died.

    I have given myself permission to grieve if I need to. I am not burying the grief sadness, but I am trying to express it.. I now have physical and emotional energy from morning to night. I have stopped feeling depressed most of the time. I have no trouble concentrating. I no longer feel like crying most of the time. I have overcome the feeling that I am in a daze. My emotions and moods are back in my control. I rarely sigh now. I no longer feel mechanical in my daily living habits. I have outgrown the feeling that I am losing my mind. I have no more lumps in my throat. My body weight has stabilized. My stomach feels relaxed and at ease. I am beginning to be emotionally close to people again. I feel emotionally alive rather than emotionally dead. I understand the grief process. So Ainsley, this is after one year. You need lots more time dear friend. Lots more time. XXXXX M and SB

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  3. Ainsley, it is now 16 months since I lost my older son & my younger one lost his foot. It has taken me this long to begin to feel like Michele Van Gobes posted above. You will get here in time. We are all different in how we grieve. Love & hugs to you.

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  4. Ainsley, it’s never easy. You need to grieve but you also need to live your own precious life. In time, time being a tricky thing, you will find your way, your new routine, new pleasures and happiness. You will find a comfortable place. You will always remember Angus because a Scottie’s memory is long and a Scottie’s love and loyalty are forever. Hugs, dear love.

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  5. Beloved Ainsley, as others have said, you will grieve in your own time frame. You don’t have to rush, and nobody should rush you. I lost my sweet brother in July of 2013, and it broke my heart. I needed my waiting time, too. You are Scottie brave, and you will move forward and do things when you are ready. I am impressed that you have the strength to do all that you are doing already, remembering Angus with love and carrying on with your own work. I am grateful you took the time to visit with friends like me in Chicago just a week after losing Angus. You and your family (including the cats and bears) are all in my thoughts, and surrounded in my love.

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  6. Dearest little girl…Ainsley, the weight on your shoulders will be lifted in time…That just so happens to be big brother…letting you know …he is there…always by your side…always in spirit…My heart just breaks with you waiting …take some of the soldiers with you for a walk…and keep busy …Big brother will take care of you..always …<3

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  7. That’s right Ainsley, I am crying. My new puppy Quincy sent you a post to say he is waiting also. Waiting to grow up and be a Trooper.

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  8. Everyone deals with grief in different ways. There’s no time limit on grief. I grieved for my Mother so long . I didn’t have to look at the calendar to know it was her bday or Mother’s Day . I was in a very deep funk. So take as long as you need to grieve for Angus. We grieve for him too

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