So, this morning, 5 am, Catman took this picture with my new best buddy, Goldie McGolderson.

2015 June Goldie McGoldersonThis brought a discussion on Facebook – oh, you need a new Scottie…oh, does this mean you are getting a Golden…oh, don’t you know that two dogs is only as much trouble as one.

You people are overthinking this!  I just have a friend named Goldie McGolderson – nothing more, nothing less.

But while we are overthinking this, allow me to REALLY OVERTHINK us all!

Let me introduce to you, Ainsley’s Theorem on Dog Trouble correlated to the number of dogs!

Please refer below to my whiteboard scribblings….

2015 June Dog Trouble Graph

Got it?  Need me to explain?  OK…on the upper left, is an x-y graph, with x (the horizontal line) noting the number of dogs, and y (the vertical axis) the amount of trouble or work in caring for the dogs.  The line in the graph, refers to the amount of trouble based on anecdotes, notes, experiments, and observations.  As you can tell, when you have one dog, it is 1 unit of trouble.  When you have 2 dogs, it is 4 units of trouble.  When you have 3, it is 8, 4 is 16, etc.

This can be boiled down to my formula written in the right corner of my whiteboard – it states

When x (number of dogs) is 1, then y (trouble) is 2 to the power of x-1.  So if you plug in 1 there, that gives you 2 to the zero power, or 1.

When x (number of dogs) is greater than 1, then y (trouble) is 2 to the power of x.  So if you plug in 2, that gives you 2 to the power of 2, or 4.

There….so 2 dogs is 4 times more trouble than 1.  That’s why I would prefer to be an only dog.  I get all the treats, I get all the attention, and Mama gets only one unit of trouble.