Nothing warms a Scottie girl’s heart more than a bottle of fresh muddy puddle water, a bouquet of a dozen freshly dead baby bunnies – and – new military equipment!

So imagine my joy Wednesday night, when my chief Scottie equipment procurer, Aunt Judy, presented me with state of the art Scottie Eye Protection Devices – Yellow in Color (SEPD-YELLOW) – or Googles, to you laymen.

So first thing I did was put on my SEPD-YELLOW, and coupled it with my Camouflage Polymer Based Attack Repellent Cranium Cover (Helmet to you laymen), and take the Scottie Personnel Carrier on a high intensity patrol coupled with nourishment ration layover (drive to the McDonalds drivethru for you laymen).

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– Ready to Roll in the SPC –

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HONK HONK! OUTTA THE WAY! What you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a Scottie driving a car while wearing googles and a helmet before????

Back at the barracks, putting my new gear to good use while protecting Angus Manor (Under New Management) while the staff is snuggled up in their warm blanket of freedom as provided by me, up there on that wall.

 You need me up there on that wall...you want me up there on that wall (uh, couch)

You need me up there on that wall…you want me up there on that wall (uh, couch)

Stay careful out there.  And kill some bunnies!

Captain Ainsley McKenna,

Certified Scottie Ace (killer of 3 baby bunnies)