Farewell Faithful Steed

Well, friends, it’s time to say goodbye to a friend.

Goodbye to the AngusMobile.

Today is the last day.  I took my last ride in her to McDonald’s and then to the country to bark at cows.

It’s been a good vehicle.

It was the vehicle I first came home in on my Gotcha day back on Mother’s Day, 2010.

It took me and Angus to the dog park too many times to count.

It was the vehicle we all took for the big Pitbull battle of 2011.  And the vehicle I took back when I took sweet sweet revenge against the Pitbulls back just this Summer.

It took me to McDonald’s just about every day since 2010, and then to bark at cows.

It took us all to the East Coast, where we saw Ty and Ivy in Clifton, Ohio, and then to Charlottesville, Virginia, to meet sis, Diablo Uno and Diablo Dos, and tour Monticello.

It took us to Chicago many times – to see the late great Caymus…and then Pippen  and Handsome Jack – Bella and Bee Bee, and Lucy, and also we picked up Ficelle at her hotel in the AngusMobile and took her to see Pippen and Jacque.

We took it to see Zorro, and Patch, and Buttons, and Pierre, and Laci, and the world’s cutest dog, Niqqi.

It took us St. Louis – to meet Duffy. Where we gave that husky a barking at a lifetime at the Museum of the Dog.  Then on the way back to the hotel, we got caught up in a bunch of hippies protesting, and they surrounded the van.  Boy, they made Angus mad.

It carried many a distinguished guests – in safety and comfort.  Like Beril, and Penny and the Count’s Hoomans, and Bella and Bee bee, and Ficelle and her hoomans.

We took it to Oklahoma back last year – in Angus’s last major road trip – and saw Henry and Jonesy and Bonnie, and Lucy and Ivy, and that Marla, and Mr. Gary.  That was a magical day at the dog park in Tulsa.

And we took it on too many Dr. Pokey visits.

And it is the vehicle that took Angus on his last ride.

sniff…

So I’m sending the AngusMobile on…on to the Rainbow Bridge to Angus.  And Today, I took the liberty of painting it up, so it is ready, immediately, for Angus to put it to use as his official catering truck.

Hope you enjoy it – once again – brother.

Captain Ainsley McKenna.

Workng Van

Sunday Morning Coming Down

SUNDAY MORNING COMING DOWN (music and lyrics by K Kristofferson, revised by A McKenna)

Well, I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my scottie head that didn’t hurt
And the puddle water I had for breakfast wasn’t bad
So I had kitty litter poo for dessert
Then Mr Bear fumbled in his closet
And found his favorite Star Wars shirt
Then I brushed my sticky beard and combed by skirt
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day

On a Sunday Morning Couch
I’m wishing, dog, that I was gone
Cause there’s nothing like a Sunday
That makes a Scottie feel alone
And there’s nothing short of aroooing
That’s half as lonesome as the sound
Of the empty TV room couch
And Sunday morning coming down

image

New International Best Seller

I’ve always been paranoid.

Keep your bed, and your spot on the couch.  I’ll just stay here under the kitchen bar stool, where no one can GRAB me and give me a bath.

There are three kinds of people in this world.  Good people.  Bad People.  And those out to GET ME.  Unfortunately, I have never met the first two.

That’s why I have putting laserjet to paper and written my new book – New Book by Ainsley

I wanna thank President Nixon for writing my foreward.  I never will forget when I was a young intern in his administration.  I didn’t even have 2 days growth of beard back then.  And I told him “Dick, it doesn’t matter how big a lead you have in the polls, you gotta stay paranoid.  For all you know, those Mainstream Liberal Commie Media people…like Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather, Harry Reasoner – they tampered with the polls to give that McGovern the edge.  Don’t get complacent, Dick!  I bet they have all sorts of information in a safe over there at the Waterdoor…or maybe, no, it’s the Watergate Hotel – a president sure could help himself by finding out what is in there you know”

The next day, I went back to skool, and left his administration.  I always wondered if he took my advice.  So I was pleasantly surprised when President Nixon came back rose fromthe grave to write my foreward.

Anyway, I digress.  Hope you enjoy my new book!

I, Scottie

Back in 2010, when I first came to live at Angus Manor (now The Ainsley Institute of Scientific Studies and Advanced Bunny Killing), me and my brother Angus would go to the dog park often.

Until a Fall day in 2010.

On that day, several dogs, including 2 pitbulls, were in the park when Angus and me arrived.  No sooner had we gotten in then fence then one Pitbull came after me.  No problem, I thought.  I promptly rolled over, which is universal dog language for “I’m Just a Pup – I submit to you, oh Attacking Dog” – and the attacking dog knows to back off.

Except this Pitbull didn’t play by those universal rules.

It took my rolling over as a sign of weakness (which it is)…and as a sign to kill (which it shouldn’t).  So Mama was screaming at the top of her lungs while the Pitbull’s hoomans were just standing there, looking quite stoopid.

Where was Angus and My Hooman Male Staffer (aka Catman),, you ask?

They were occupied to ANOTHER pit bull, that was related to the one attacking me.  But Angus – he wasn’t the roll over kind.  He was being attacked, but he was giving back as good as he was getting.  That Angus was always a giver, I suppose.

So Catman scooped up Angus, while fending off his Pitbull, and came running and got me away from my killer pitbull.

So we ceded the dog park that day to the Pitbull Duo.

And we didn’t come back much.  And I wasn’t the same at the dog park – more tentative – less joyful.  And as Angus’s Cushings Disease progressed, he wasn’t into ball playing anymore, so over the last few years, we rarely went.

Now that Angus has gone, I’ve visited the dog park a couple of times.  But since I don’t play ball, staff noticed I don’t really play with the other dogs like I did before the Pitbull incident.  So the staff didn’t think I cared that much for the park.  However, Wednesday night, after Ice Cream, we drove by, and Mama could hear a little perceptible whine from me as we drove by.  So Catman said, “Sweetie, I will take you tomorrow”  So that’s what we did.

So fast forward to Thursday.

There were several dogs there…a couple of small dogs, an Australian Shepard, a dog of undeterminate origin, maybe a Lab, and one or two others.

DogParkplaying

DogPark

We were there about 10 minutes…I didn’t really play with any of them.  Didn’t associate with them really, but I watched them.  Just watched them from a few feet away.

But lo and behold, look who is coming in.  A PITBULL!  A full grown, probably 100  pounds worth of death dealing muscle brained Pitbull.  I sat at a distance, and watched the Pitbull approach.  If you look carefully, you can see the tan colored pitbull on the side of the fence about to come in.  I am watching intently.  Planning.  Calculating.  Plotting.

Laying Watching

So in comes the Pitbull.  Catman is watching the situation carefully…but I run around him and go in for the attack!  GRRRRRRR  Bark!  The Pitbull then….he then…he then….ROLLS OVER!!!!  What do I do?  I Jump the SOB (literally, he is a Son of a B….cause he is a dog).  GRowling and barking.  Catman pulls me off.  Scolds me.  Pitbull goes back upright.  Stands up

BUT I’M Not done with you yet Pitbull!  5 years of grievance and resentment is coursing through my veins!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR   – BAAARRRRRK – GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!  Pitbull rolls over, and I jump him.  Pulled away.

Then again.  And then Again!

Finally Catman takes me away.

Didn’t mess with any of the other dogs.  Just the Pitbull.  And I now have settled the score against The Pitbulls.  Scotties 1, Pitbulls 0!

I think I should get a promotion for this.

Captain Ainsley McKenna