Merry Christmas Everyone!

AngusFala_cardsigned
“The Owner of Angus Fala’s Boiled Egg and Ice Cream Parlor” – by Elena Adam

 

Happy Holidays all of you:

I’ve had a very eventful year.  First, I died.  And for any of us, that’s pretty dang eventful.

I remember being at Dr. Pokey and a tearful mama was whispering in my ear (no, I’m not telling you what was said – that’s private, confidential, information), and next I know I went to sleep.  Then, I woke up on a train seat, filled with other dogs in the train car, and the train was slowing down.  The conductor came through, said “NEXT STOP, THE RAINBOW BRIDGE TRANSIT STATION.  ALL MUST DEPART!”

Being a Scottie, I don’t usually follow orders, but I had a feeling this was an order I better obey.  So I got off the train as directed – boy, what a busy place it was as I got off the train.  Dogs walking, cats strolling, birds flying, fish in their bowls, all scurrying to and fro.

As i left the platform and entered the Grand Arrival Hall, I saw my Golden Retriever sister, Lady.  And a Scottish Terrier that I recognized from family pictures, her name is Aberdeen.  Boy was I happy to see Lady!  Aberdeen – well, let’s just say the reports I received from my hoomans about how cantankerous, aloof, and moody she can be were well-founded.

They told me what I already knew – that I am at the Rainbow Bridge now.  Got me all settled in- I shared a room with Lady and Aberdeen is down the hall in our three bedroom condo.

So what about this Rainbow Bridge place, you want to know.  Is it all a big meadow, with everyone playing,  frolicking, and stopping occasionally and putting their nose in the air when a hooman comes in?  Heck no!  The poem the vet gives you when one of us dies, while not totally wrong, is misleading!

First off – let’s do the math here.  Every animal that ever died is here (well, not quite – since the Pope opened up Heaven for us pets, many animals went with their hoomans to Heaven.  That’s cut the population quite a bit, and means that now real estate prices have plummeted, as the housing supply is outstripping demand, but I digress).  There are easily 5 billion animals here.  Think of Shanghai on a Saturday night, and multiply that  by 500, and that gives you the scope of this place.

So it’s a big sprawling metropolitan area.  Neighborhoods, suburbs, expressways, subways, trolley cars.  Right in the middle is the Rainbow Bridge Meadow…think Central Park, with the famous Rainbow Bridge at the edge of it.  Do we go to the meadow a lot?  Sure, maybe, some of us.  But we don’t spend all day there.  We got afterlifes to lead, y’know!

Which brings us to what I’ve been doing.  Of course, I offered my services to the Scottie Army, Rainbow Bridge Brigade.  And of course, the work I’ve done on Earth, especially in the Husky-Scottie War of 2009, preceded me here at the Bridge and impressed the Generals here in the Scottie Army.  So I joined the Rainbow Bridge army, after some refresher training, at my old rank as Master Sergeant.

But that’s not all I do.  No siree.  I realized real quick that there are 5 billion animals here, 2 billion of them dogs, and not  much of a supply of Boiled Eggs AND Ice Cream (preferably Vanilla).  So I found an empty storefront in the heart of TerrierTown (got a good deal on it too, see my discussion above about the decline in real estate prices), and opened up my store this past Summer.  “Angus Fala’s Boiled Egg and Ice Cream Parlor.”

It’s done quite well too.  Got lots of specials and events at the Parlor.  Tuesday is buy a dozen boiled eggs, get the thirteenth free (I  call that an Angus Dozen).  Thursday is Piano Night – Liberace plays in the main dining room with his 27 dogs accompanying him.  Saturday night, the mayor of Terriertown, The Late Great Fala himself, FDR’s beloved Scottie, holds court in the backroom.  Fala can really put away the vanilla ice cream with hamburger sprinkles, let me tell you what.  And Sunday afternoons, I bring in an expert to lecture the patrons on various subjects.  So far, the expert has been me every week.  I can’t find anyone as knowledgeable or handsome or modest as myself.

Anyway, the Parlor is going great guns.  We have it decorated for Christmas too – my Golden sister, Lady, has helped me with that, as you see in the painting above.

In fact, the business is doing so well, I just opened up a second location, in the Rainbow Bridge Meadow, that you might have noticed from the picture of the new Golden Retriever who joined my Rainbow Bridge family late last month.  That would be Cary Grant 2.0.  Cary Grant 1.0 stayed with us a while this past Fall, but he moved on and moved in with Goldens that he was actually related to, since he never officially was a dog owned by the staff back down there at Angus Manor.  But Cary 2.0 is a member of the family – so he has moved in with Lady, and I took the third bedroom of the condo. (When Ainsley joins us, she will be crashing on the couch in the den)

Cary Grant Bridge
“Cary Grant at the Rainbow Bridge” by Kate Wood

Anyway, I will answer your questions now, gentle reader.  What’s that you say?  Have I seen your dog that is up here? Yes, I know your dog.  I probably have served your dog AT the Parlor, or served WITH him in the Scottie army.  And I go to the Rainbow Bridge Transit Station every afternoon to meet the new arrivals, and give them an advertising flyer for my Parlor, so I met your dog there too if he or she arrived in the past 8 months or so.

Next question?  Does your dog miss you?  Of course.  Your dog misses you greatly, but we stay busy here, that’s for sure.

Any more questions?  No?  None?  Great, that’s it, I got to get back to the parlor.  I’m busing in some illegal immigra…excuse me, undocumented workers…to work the kitchen at the Parlor.  That’s gonna drive down my labor costs, even though it means I’m gonna have to lay off a bunch of Pomeranians.  Some of the business strategies we learned down on Earth are directly transferable here, doncha know.

Anyway, this is going to conclude my Holiday Newsletter.  I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas.

Sincerely, and Hooyah!

Master Sergeant Angus Fala

Rainbow Bridge Scottie Brigade, and Sole Proprietor, Angus Fala’s Boiled Egg and Ice Cream Parlor with two great locations to serve you better, right in the heart of TerrierTown at the corner of Stoic and Stubborn, and our new location at the Rainbow Bridge Meadow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

12 thoughts on “Merry Christmas Everyone!”

  1. It’s good to hear from you! Your newsletter was way more interesting than any we got from hoomans who like to brag about their 22 yr old kid graduating high school or their pride in their 16 yr old daughter being on TV (Teen Moms)!! That’s an awesome painting by Elena!! We met her a few summers ago at a SadiePalooza & Ivy greeted her Scotty Dussia by “showing her the teeth”! Neither one backed down & it almost turned into a darn CatFight!! But I digress. Q: If the hooman is in Heaven, can he/she mingle with their beloved pets? If so, I bet my Dad & his terrier mix “Ernie” have become permanent fixtures at the Parlor! Dad loved ice cream (any flavor!) & Ernie loved Dad! Ainsley is doing a great job with very little help from that Bear dude! We sure miss you so send us an update every now & then!!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Miss you and many with you.
    So glad to read your Chritmas letter and know things under control. Tell Wicket I miss him and send my love. I am sure he is off on the back corner of the Parlor, reading probably has glasses on his nose. ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

  3. We like your RB Christmas report. It is worrisome here on earth wondering what is ahead. Mom is sighing now thinking about you and your fur family up there. We tend to think of it as “up” cause we know you get Angel wings and Angles fly so it all has to be up. We hope you take some time to rest though and get some of the newer kids to help out in the parlor. We would name some but would probably leave a name or two out and don’t want to take that chance. You know who they are. We also know Ace and Missy are in there helping, Dande, Misty and Tuffy too and Toby our cousin. We hope Santa paws comes around too so we will be thinking of you on Christmas and your staff too. They have to be lonely down here. From your friends Fergus and Guinness.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. After the tears stopped we had to laugh!! Brilliantly written and we loved your card!

    You certainly have everything under control sir. Liberace playing! How fancy schmancy is that? Our furrends like a little bit of a twangy country sound as opposed to the Liberach set! Would you see what you can do about that? Maybe a little George Strait, Toby Keith or Big & Rich!

    We have soo many relatives and furrends at the Bridge we can’t wait to see them again. We’re so glad you are enjoying your “Boiled Egg and Ice Cream Parlor” and business is booming! Verra sound investment!

    I’m sure you know you are missed by so many of us down here. Please tell my Holly and Miss Bonnie Francu we’ll always love them to the moon and back ❤
    Merry Christmas sweetie ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Angus! The BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT to hear from you, not to mention a great way to start the week! Your departure really made your loyal public so completely miserable and sad. We miss you dude! Ainsley is doing a fabulous job we must say. She has shown leadership qualities that you are no doubt proud of. Thank you so much for giving us an overview of the Bridge. This told Mama that Edward, Sam, Sasha, Josh, Noah and PawPaw are doing well and are probably frequent customers of yours. After you transitioned, we had some other really crushing loses, so good to know that all is well up there. Thanks for the great visual which both comforted and educated us. Bye for now….I know we’ll be “in touch” soon…keep sending my Mama those signs…she really looks forward to them. We made some boiled eggs in your honor a few weeks ago, and, Ainsley sent me a pawtographed Devil Ball for my Christmas, so I can start my own battalion ( we might be meeting Ainsley this spring when we go to Door County). Will be calling on you for advice during the coming year. Much Love, Sykyer B and his Mama

    Liked by 3 people

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