George Kerby – the First Week

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Today marked the first week of George Kerby, the Golden Retriever, living with me at the Ainsley Institute.  Today also marked his 8 week birthday.

Slide show above shows some of the highlights of the week.  Thursday, we took him to the vet, and Dr. Pokey pronounced George in good health – which is quite the relief.  Since Cary Grant, the Golden we got in November, died after only 15 days here of a rare and very severe heart ailment, we were quite worried about George, especially since he came from the same breeder.  Fortunately, though, the Heart of George was good – nary a murmur.

Saturday, as you see above, we took a family pic of me, George and Mr. Bear.  Could not get George to stand still.  We had the idea of taking a pic every week to monitor his growth.  At the vet Thursday George was 8.3 pounds.  Yesterday, George was 9.5 pounds.  I did some research – and  in another month, George should be bigger than me, just over 20 pounds.  And a month after that, George should be around 35 pounds.   He is getting big fast and  he has already left that cute as a button little puppy stage and started to enter the all legs and paws gawky stage.

George doesn’t have all his shots, so we are being careful about where he goes.  But we did have my cousin Juno, an Australian Shepherd, come to play with George.  You see in the slideshow a picture of George, me, Juno, my hooman cousing Summer, and her best friend Caitlin at the Ainsley Institute.  And also Mr. Bear tried to get in the picture as well.

Remember last week I said George is going to be a lot mellower than Cary Grant was?  Well, I was wrong.  George has turned out to be quite the high energy troublemaker.  Looking back, I guess Cary was indeed dying the whole time he was here.  Cary was a lot sweeter and mellower and slept more  – probably the poor guy just didn’t ever feel right.  Word on the street, though, is Cary is feeling great now as the dessert chef at my brother Angus Fala’s Boiled Egg and Ice Cream Parlor at the Rainbow Bridge.  Though George is a “replacement” Golden from Cary’s breeder, no one can replace Cary.  No one.

So how am I getting along with George?  Well, for the first few days I wanted nothing to do with George.  As you can see here, from a video over the weekend, my Zone of Hostility, which I learned from my brother Angus, is implemented and performing quite nicely.

However, a break through last night – I did play with George for a bit.  But then I was done, and he still wanted to play, but I let him know with a sharp growl that play time was officially over.  He was confused, but it’s great to keep him guessing.

Anyway, that’s my report of George’s first week.

Ainsley McKenna


George Kerby – First 24 Hours

George Kerby and Mama  coming home3-2-2016 1-43-51 PM 3-2-2016 1-43-51 PM

Well, March 2nd was an eventful day – the day the staff adopted a new dog to help me at the Ainsley Institute.

Remember Cary Grant, the Golden that came on board back on November 13th of last year?  And then died 15 days later, because of a rare heart condition?

I hope you remember, cause we sure do.  Anyway, the breeder in Wisconsin said we could have another dog – and one was available yesterday.  So Mama and Catman took me for an early morning check-in at the Aunt Judy Inn, and Catman drove Mama up to pick up the new pup.

They had the pick of the 3 boys, and picked this guy above.  The naming was quite contentious.  I wanted him named Charles Boolean, the inventor of Boolean Logic, which paved the way for the information age.  Catman wanted him to be named Rufus T. Johnson. Who is Rufus T. Johnson?  I have no idea, he just wanted to call a dog Rufus.  The cats wanted him named Meow.   Mr. Bear wanted him named either “Make America Great – Again” or “Wall Street is too Yuge.”

Mama wanted to name him for a Cary Grant character, cause Cary Grant is her favorite actor.  So she wanted to name him George Kerby, a character Cary Grant played in his 1937 movie, “Topper.”

Mama got her way.  Just like she got her way when she named Cary Grant, named me Ainsley McKenna, and named Angus Angus Fala.  Above you see Mama with George Kerby on the way home.


kerby aunt judy and ainsley  3-2-2016 6-15-05 PM

So, they got back last night about 6 pm, and picked me up at the Aunt Judy Inn – this is me, sizing up the new guy, with Aunt Judy, and Uncle bob in the background.


kerby and aunt judy 3-2-2016 6-15-55 PM

I tell ya what – even though he is from the same breeder, he isn’t the same dog as Cary Grant.  George Kerby is much mellower, and sleeps a lot more than Cary did.  Cary would never be held like this.  Here Kerby is last night at the Aunt Judy Inn.


Anyway, we went back home, and before I allowed him to be loose, I had to show him a few things.  I wanted to show him some of the guys he is following – to let him know he has big paws to fill….

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First, I had to show him the late great Cary Grant, gone way too soon.


Then the cats, Lily in the left, and Herman in the right, wanted to meet George Kerby.


kerby meeting angus 3-2-2016 5-14-35 PM

And finally, time to pay homage to the late great Angus Fala.  Look and learn, little pup.


Then it was time to let him loose and explore his surroundings.  The first thing he tried to do was to replace the drapes.


First night went amazingly well though.  I slept downstairs on the sofa, and George Kerby slept in his cage upstairs.  At first he was a bit rambunctious:

kerby in cage 3-2-2016 5-22-54 PM.JPG

But he settled down and slept after only about 15 minutes of whining, howling and barking.  Much quicker than Cary Grant’s first night….that took over 90 minutes for Cary to settle down back in November.  But like I said before, George Kerby is a lot more mellower than Cary.


kerby looking up 3-2-2016 5-12-13 PM

Cary was an excellent pup – smart as a whip.  We still miss him.  But one thing we don’t want is Cary’s heart problem, so first thing this morning, staff took George Kerby to our Dr. Pokey and have him checked out.  Dr. Pokey spent a long time poking at his hips, cause Goldens have a tendency to have hip dysplasia.   Kerby’s hips are good.  Then she spent a long time, and I mean a loooooooooong time, listening to his heart. Well, good news – Dr. Pokey heard nothing abnormal with George Kerby’s heart.  Excellent news indeed.  Here is George Kerby celebrating after he got home today.

Well, that’s about it for George Kerby’s first 24 hours.

Bark at you later,

Ainsley McKenna

OKlahoma – Where the Scottie Comes Swe…

Went on a trip this past weekend.  Went to visit my Hooman sister, who lives in a suburb of Oklahoma City.  And this is my photo journal of my trip….


ainsley and mr bear 2-26-2016 5-39-40 PM

Me and Mr. Bear

So we packed up the Scottiemobile and headed down on our 14 hour trip to Okahoma to meet the Oklahomies.

On the way, we stopped and saw Mama’s best friend in the world, Deb.  Deb is a published author – and a best selling author too.  She has written many books, but one book, “Beyond Forever,” has me and my late great brother Angus as her inspiration for dog characters.

This from the book describes the character Angus:

“What Angus lacked in size he made up for in attitude.”

It’s a Historical Romance – so Angus is a terrier in the early 1800’s.  I make an appearance in present day, here’s my section in the book:

“Angus reminded Julia of her Aunt Kim’s Scottish terrier, Ainsley”

Pretty neat, huh?  If you wanna read it for yourself, you can pick it up on kindle – here’s the link:

Make sure you get the Kindle Version – Deb reworked her paperback, which she wrote in the 1990’s, and added me and Angus as characters.  We’re not in the paperback version.  (of course, both books are most excellent, so maybe you should just buy them both!).

ainsley and conner and jamie 2-26-2016 10-47-09 AM

Me, Conner and Jamie

Anyway, Ms. Deb has always had Irish Setters, and I visited with my old friends, Conner and Jamie.  Eventually, I gotta all Scottie on them, and tried to fight with Jamie (Jamie and Conner are both too way good matured to fight me back though.) Anyway, after I started growling and snapping and showing my teeth, Mama decided it was time for us to bid adieu.

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Me waiting for lunch

Anyway, we continued on to Oklahoma.  We had a late lunch at Fort Leonard Wood, a town in Missiouri outside an Army base (Military Police are trained there, by the way), and I waited outside while Mama got us grilled cheese sandwiches at Panera Bread.  I was hungry, and it smelled good.

Then we traveled on.  We noticed and commented that when we got to Oklahoma, there were signs every few miles that said “Fire Hazard – Don’t Drive Thru Smoke.”  Why am I mentioning that?  Well, as Ms. Deb tells me, that’s foreshadowing what’s to come later.  Though I guess I shouldn’t really tell you it’s a foreshadow, huh?

So, we arrived at Hooman Sis’s Apartment in Beautiful Downtown Edmond Oklahoma about 8 pm.  Plenty of time for me to get reacquainted with her cats. Diablo Dos is the cat on the left hand side in the picture above, and Diablo Uno is the cat I had all packed and ready to ship out in the picture on the right hand side.  Sis let her out though, darn it.

Also met Hooman Sis’s boyfriend, Ross.  He is a nice guy – likes me too.  I jumped in his lap, so he has the Official Scottie Seal of Approval.

ainsley ross and anna 2-28-2016 5-18-43 PM

Hooman Sis, Ross, and Me – and Mama to the right

Got up bright and early, and since Hooman Sis apartment had only 2 bathrooms, and 3 hoomans, two cats, and me, I had to wait my turn to get ready.

ainsley outside bathroom door 2-28-2016 6-57-45 AM

Hurry Up in there!

So Saturday morning, off to Tulsa!  At Tulsa, met a lot of good friends at the dog park.  Met Mr. Gary, who is a volunteer at Oklahoma Westie Rescue, and he is a saint of a hooman.

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Mr. Gary and Me

Also, met Rosie – met her before 2 years ago when I visited with my brother Angus.

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Me and Rosie

Also, I got to meet up with McDuff, being held by Susan, and me, being held by my hooman sis.

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McDuff & Me

The dog park was PACKED!  But I worked the gate, letting dogs I approved in, and letting dogs that I didn’t approve in too.  Hooman sis, who used to live in Tulsa, met up with some of her good fellow Oklahomie friends at the dog park.

annas friends grooup pic best 2-27-2016 2-02-22 PM

From left, Me (and Hooman Sis), Becca (and Leslie), Stu (and Alli), and Crash and Bourne (with Alison)

We stayed about 2 hours, and then had the requisite Scottie Group picture shoot.

group pic best 2-27-2016 1-51-41 PM

Clockwise from Top Left – Bonnie (and Mr. Paul), Me (and Mama), Lucy (and her Dad), Jonesy (with Ms. Emma), Hurley (with Mr. Tim), McDuff (with Ms. Angie), Piper (with Mr. Gary), Indy (with Ms. Trisha), Rosie (with Ms. Marla), and Cagney (with Ms. Vanessa)

Wow, what a day.  We were last of our group to leave the dog park, but it was fun, and thanks to everyone for making it a memorable day.

leaving dog park 2-27-2016 3-04-42 PM

me, Mama and Sis

Drove back to Oklahomie City, and saw more signs about “Fire Hazard, don’t drive through smoke.”  I got back in time to sit outside Sis’s outside deck, and pull some late night sentry duty.

ainsley at night patrol 2-27-2016 7-59-25 PM

Guarding the Night

Sunday was  a recovery day.  I did some morning stake out duty and caught my sister trying to come in with some food…

ainsley looking at anna 2-27-2016 10-01-12 AM

Caught you Sis!  What you got in that McDonald’s Bag?

But the bad thing about Sunday was – I RAN OUT OF FOOD!  So hoomans ran out to Petco (didn’t take me!), and couldn’t find my normal brand – Holistic Select.  So they bought me Blue Buffalo – which is quite tasty.  If you folks at Blue Buffalo would like to hire me as your Celebrity Spokescottie, have your people get in touch with my agent, Mr. Bear.  I do know a thing or two about product placement.

ainsley and dog food 2-27-2016 7-39-36 PM

Me and Blue Buffalo Wilderness: Chicken Recipe.   Good, and Good For You Too!

So now it was Monday, and time to go home.  On the way home, on I-44, passed again several signs that said “Fire Hazard: Do Not Drive Through Smoke.”  Shortly after the first toll booth, it looked a little foggy all of a sudden.  Sniff Sniff…what’s that? SMOKE!  So, we were driving through smoke!  Just what you aren’t supposed to do, Catman! I’m a Scottie, and I could read the signs you shouldn’t do that.  And let me tell you what – it was scary!  About 3 miles of smoke, but in all fairness to Catman, other cars were driving through it too, though it was really really really thick, as bad as an Illinois Blizzard.  No sooner had we gotten through it then we saw the Police rushing to the scene with sirens and lights blaring, and we learned later that just after we made it through, they shut down the interstate.

I hope no one got in a wreck.

After all that, the trip home was uneventful.  Stopped at Panera Bread again in Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, and after that it was time to surf on back home.

ainsley van surfing 2-29-2016 12-12-10 PM

Me van Surfing

Got home about 6 pm – and boy, was I tired.  Still Recovering.

ainsley and herman 2-29-2016 10-10-28 PM

Me resting at The Ainsley Institute, with Herman the Cat in his beloved Catman’s Lap

Anyway, it was a good trip.  I want to thank the staff, Mr. Bear, Hooman Sis, Ross, Debra Dier, Conner and Jamie for being good sports about me trying to fight them and all, and my dog park buddies – Jonesy & Bonnie, McDuff, Cagney, Piper, Indy & Lucy, Hurley, Rosie, Bourne, Stu, and Becca and Crash. And their staff.  I don’t thank Diablo Uno or Dos though.  They pure evil.

Tomorrow is another day – and a real big day too.  New Golden Pup supposed to arrive.

Til then,

Ainsley McKenna



Good Fences Make Stoopid Strangers

I have a small parcel of land that is mine and mine alone.  It is probably about 7000 square feet, and enclosed in a fence.

This land is not the bank’s, it’s not Barack Obama’s, not Donald Trump’s, not Vladimir Putin’s, not ISIS’s, not yours, not your dog’s – it’s mine.  It’s called the backyard.

As a puppy, while brother Angus would play in there and mug for the camera, I took it upon myself to guard and protect it.

angus and ainsley 9-3-2013 2-26-06 PM


I got a million photos like this.  Angus in the foreground, barking or playing or having a ball in his mouth, and in the background, there will be me, on the fence line.  In good weather and in bad.

angus looking at camera ainsley away 1-27-2011 1-45-42 PM


So now that I have set the background, let me tell you a little story about yesterday.

ainsley in fence with sun 3-14-2015 5-40-23 PM

Mama let me outside, about oh nine hundred, for the 2nd time yesterday, and she settled down in her recliner with a diet coke, and then heard me barking (aka acoustic salvo launching).

In itself, my firing acoustic salvos at the yard is not unusual.  It’s what I do.  I’m protective about 2 things in this world.  First is the car, when I am in it alone.  I’m gonna defend it.  If staff is in the car, not so much.  They can defend it for themselves.  The second thing is my backyard.  And I will defend it if staff it out there or not.  I’m always watching – alert.  Looking for threats to the fenceline.

ainsley watching 3-13-2015 5-54-35 PM

Anyway, where was I in my story?  Oh yes, barking.  So Mama thought, “Do I need to get up?”  Not unless Ainsley doesn’t stop soon.  Then she heard a terrible ruckus.  Acoustic Salvos being fired at a rapid more frantic rate, and growling and all sorts of commotion.  So this time, she decides, i gotta get up now and see what is going on.

So she goes to the backdoor, opens it, and there I am, at the fence line, and just outside the fence is a woman carrying away a little dustmop of a dog, glaring at me!  The stranger walks back to the sidewalk, and then puts little dustmop dog on the sidewalk, and walks away.

ainsley in fence 2-24-2016 7-28-41 AM

Now, questions for the glaring lady:

First, why did you walk to the fenceline?  It’s a good 20-30 feet from the sidewalk to my fence.  Nobody gets to visit unless you are on the guest list.  And let me see – I don’t see don’t see your name, and I don’t see Dustmop’s name either.  I don’t even see Paul McCartney’s name (which is the only thing I have in common with Tyga, I suppose)  In fact, yesterday’s invited guest list was empty.  Nobody was on it.  So why did you think it was a wonderful idea to walk up to my fence?

Second, in what point during my acoustic salvo firing did you think I was saying, “hey, I like you, come up and see me?”  I mean, a dog with a mouth like a German Shepherd and huge outsized teeth doesn’t seem that friendly, I wouldn’t think.  And I am a terrier, right?  I look like a Scottie, the AKC says I am a Scottie. So whadaya know, I am a Scottish Terrier.  Not a Golden…not a Lhasa Apso, not a stoopid friendly beagle…I am a Terrier.  Do I look approachable to you???  Maybe one of my acoustic salvos misfired, and instead of saying what I intended for it to convey, which was “Get the Hell Away from my Yard,” perhaps it said “Hey, come on down.”  If it did say that, please let me know.  I will need to call Scottish Terrier Acoustic Salvo Technical Support and ask them what the problem is with my acoustic salvos.

Third question – why you glaring at me?  Why don’t you take a little mirror out of your purse, and glare at the reflection.  Cause the only one here doing what they are NOT supposed to be doing was you.  You Maroon!



Blue Eyed Devils

I had an encounter with a Husky yesterday, and I am sad to say I didn’t cover our breed with glory.

Let me back up a bit – to about 3 pm yesterday.  Catman (the male staffer at the Ainsley Institute – we call him Catman because a few years ago he was overheard by Angus telling Mama that he would prefer having just cats – cause “they are friendlier than Scotties and a lot less trouble”) took me to the Dog Park.  Ever since I beat up that Pitbull late last year, he looked carefully at the dogs at the dog park.   There were about 4 dogs in there…all bigger, with one Husky.  Catman thought we might should leave – but I saw we were at the dog park and badly wanted to go in.  So, he said ok, I’m not sure about this, but we will walk to the gate and see how they act.

Well, at the gate they all seemed ok.  No growling.  All of the dogs were bigger than me, of course.  Besides the Husky there was a lab, and a couple of other mutty looking dogs.  So I go in.

We were in there about 2 or 3 minutes, no trouble, when 2 of the dogs left.  Then it was just me, the Husky, and the Lab.  Then the Lab’s hooman decided to pet the Husky.

Let me digress a moment here.  Hoomans!  The Dog Park isn’t about you, if it was it would be the HOOMAN PARK!  You should really leave us alone, don’t touch us.  That adds an element of jealousy and emotions in there that messes the whole dynamic up!

So anyway, what do you think happened?  Anybody?  What you say over there?  That everyone got along famously, and the Lab and Husky became best friends?  WRONG!  Sit in the corner and shut up!

No, the Lab of course, growled at the Husky, the Husky, cause the Husky ain’t a golden retriever, growled back, and a scuffle ensued.  I was about 50 feet away, but I tried to charge right in there and get in the middle of it.

So now, the Lab left.  Just me and the Husky.

Let me describe the Husky for you.  He was, as Bernie Sanders would describe, YUGE!   At least 100 pounds – a very big husky.  With those diabolical soulless blue eyes that Huskies have.  You look in there, and you realize you can see Satan in there.  And worse yet, about 2 years old.  The frisky, I wanna irritate you, age.

So now that it was just me and him…what did he do?  He bounded over to me.  Of course, I see a 100 pound devil dog running to me, I growl.  What does he do…growl back.  I’m right by Catman now, trying to use him as tactical cover – and I don’t know why I did what I did next.


Yes, I know.  I’m quite aware of Scottie Military Code and Rule 17-D – never rely on a hooman to keep us safe.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I panicked.

Anyway – we immediately left.  The Husky maintained control of the battlefield.

I was hoping it could be my little secret – just me and Catman would know.  But I forgot that evil Husky wouldn’t keep a secret.

Last night I heard thunder.  I know what that was.

It wasn’t a stream of electrons, heated to 50,000 degrees Fahrenheit, which as it cools produces a resonating tube of partial vacuum surrounding the lightning’s path, generating a sound we call thunder.

No -it wasn’t that at all.  I’m a scientist, I know these things.

No, the Thunder I heard was Angus Fala throwing chairs around at his Boiled Egg & Ice Cream Parlor up at the Rainbow Bridge.

I would recognize my brother Angus’s tantrums anywhere.  Even from Earth while he is up there at the Bridge.

Angus knows what happened.

And if he knows, Scottie HQ is sure to know soon.

So I am pretty depressed today – afraid of the ramifications for my career as a Scottie.  Here is a picture of me – alone with my thoughts this morning.  This could be bad.  Yuge.

ainsley in living room 2-22-2016 7-01-25 AM





Originally recorded by Petula Clark,CBE, in London, England in 1964

Music & Lyrics by Tony Hatch

Revised Lyrics by Ainsley McKenna


ainsley lying on floor at office 2-19-2016 12-23-43 PM


When you’re alone and life is making you lonely

 You can always go downtown

When you’ve got worries all the noise and the vermin

 Seems to help I know,downtown

ainsley with mama downtown 2-20-2016 12-38-44 PM

Just Listen to the music of the rodents in the city

Linger on the sidewalk where the pigeon poop smells so pretty

How can you Lose?

The Rats are Much bigger there

You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares

ainsley with head in mattress 2-20-2016 12-46-12 PM

So go downtown

Things will be great when you’re downtown

No Finer place for sure, Downtown

The Vermin is waiting for you

ainsley with mama 2-20-2016 12-59-50 PM

Don’t hang around and let the huskies surround you

There are rodents to kill, downtown

Maybe you know some little places to go to

where they don’t hide so well, downtown

ainsley in alley 2-20-2016 12-46-08 PM

Just listen to the rhythm of a bunny running for cover

You’ll be killin’ them all before the night is finally over

Happy Again

The Rats are much bigger there

You can forget all your troubles, forget all you cares

ainsley in wind with mama 2-20-2016 1-06-00 PM

So go downtown

Where all the rats are big, downtown

Waiting for you tonight, downtown

You’re gonna eat well now, downtown



ainsley closer with mama 2-20-2016 12-54-20 PM

And you may find some Scottie to help and understand you

A Scottie as bloodthirsty as you and needs a gentle paw to

Guide them along

So Maybe I’ll see you there

We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares

ainsley with mama 2-20-2016 1-08-14 PM

So go downtown

Vermin killing will be great when you’re downtown

No Better Rodent Infested place for sure, Downtown

The Vermin is waiting for you

February 14 – the week that was

ainsley outside  1-31-2016 12-00-36 PM

Well now, how was your week?  I’m gonna tell you mine, in pictures and words.

It’s been a pretty cold week here at the Ainsley Institute, a few neighborhood patrols, one bath, some sentry duty, some TV watching, and an overnight stay at the Aunt Judy Inn.

First off, come Tuesday, me and Mr. Bear watched the election returns from New Hampshire.  Mr. Bear, being a supporter of Bernie Sanders, and Donald Trump, was quite happy.

me and mr bear 2-9-2016 8-43-56 PM

I can’t say I was thrilled though.

The next few days were uneventful.  I didn’t even get a visit to see Ms. Mary at Angus Fala Worldwide HQ and get a performance bonus, and believe it or not, on Thursday,  I didn’t get a car ride.  Much of the day I spent in my favorite place – under the bar stools.

at home with ainsley 2-11-2016 6-04-06 PM

Things started picking up toward the end of the week.  Got a card in the mail from Skyler Braveheart – my only Valentine’s Day card to date.

card from skyler 2-11-2016 6-04-35 PM

Come Friday, my staff decided to go to Chicago and see the play about Carole King.  I got the better end of the deal – I got a nice relaxing stay at the Aunt Judy Inn.  Here I am utilizing their early morning check-in service.

waiting for aunt judy 2-9-2016 7-02-48 PM

Yes, it was cold this weekend.  Yesterday, the low got down to -1 at the Inn, and quite windy too, hence my sweater.

It was a delightful stay.  A 45 minute spa massage from Aunt Judy, meals included Fish and Chicken Liver, and of course plenty of treats…

ainsley with uncle bob 2-9-2016 7-07-14 PM

So that’s about it this week for Valentine’s Week for me.  Just leave you with one thing – I’m trying to convince Aunt Judy to allow Angus Fala Worldwide to franchise the Aunt Judy Inn – wouldn’t you want one in your neighborhood too?

ainsley at aunt judy 2-9-2016 7-24-56 PM

Aunt Judy is hard to convince and is withholding the licensing rights – she is afraid she will lose her quality control.

Fear not – I’m still working on her about it.  I’m gonna get this deal made.

Til next week –

Captain Ainsley McKenna, CEO
Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises


Come Saturday Morning

This morning, me and the staff traveled to the town of Mendota, about 30 minutes north of the Ainsley Institute.

Mendota is the home of Angus Manor 1 – my late great brother Angus lived there for the first 7 years of his life with the staff, and they moved to the current Ainsley Institute (formerly known as Angus Manor, or Angus Manor II) about 8 years ago.

Staff has been in the habit of taking me different places to walk most mornings.  I enjoy barking to my neighbor Luke the Poodle as much as the next dog, but let’s face it – the areas around the Institute are well pacified.  Hearts and Minds have been won.  Kinda boring.  So I need new areas to explore and put under the rule of my iron paw.

So anyway, we went to Mendota this morning, arriving around daybreak.  First thing I saw – SQUIRRELS!  Ficelle, my Canadian Scottie friend, has warned me about these crafty little ba$#ar%$, and I couldn’t get one.  Wasn’t from lack of trying though.squirrel up tree 2-6-2016 7-05-56 AM

Then we went up this big hill, and surveyed the countryside.

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And then we walked through some woods and meadows, and reached the shores of a frozen Lake Kakusha

ainsley icy lake 2-6-2016 7-19-03 AM

Saw a big stoopid lab and a Schnauzer on my way back to the Scottie War Wagon – but no auditory salvos were exchanged.

Then back home, and then a short walk in the pacified ‘hood for a well-deserved R&R at Aunt Judy’s.

ainsley aunt judy lap 2-5-2016 6-45-26 PM

Have a good Saturday.

Captain Ainsley McKenna

Top 15 in 15

Going through my 2015 pictures – y’know, sorting, deleting, and renaming – and thought I would try to condense 2015 into 15 pictures.  Pictures that help highlight the year 2015 here at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises.

And I am gonna bring in a special guest announcer to help me out here – so Ladies and Gentlemen, Scotties and Westies, Schnauzers and Poodles, straight from the Rainbow Bridge – here’s our special guest announcer, the one, the only, Kasey Kaseeem!!!!



First up, coming in at number 15, a picture that was a hit back in September – Mr. Bear decides to get all political on us, and Ainsley can’t believe it…here’s #15!

ainsley and mr. bear 9-27-2015 2-49-35 PM


And we’re back, and counting em down to number 1!

There was a lot of traveling and a lot of guests at the Ainsley Institute.  Back in August, Ainsley, Catman, Mr. Bear and Mama went to beautiful TOLEDO, OHIO, home of Corporal Klinger of MASH, and while they didn’t have time to partake in any of the cultural opportunities of Toledo, they did even better – by visiting SADIEPALOOZA!  It was loads of fun, one of the Scotties kept escaping, there was the requisite Scottie fight, and the reclusive and enigmatic Sadie came down even to greet her guests, and then retreated to her bedroom, and came down again at the end for the mandatory group picture.  So let’s take a look at #14 in our countdown – the Group picture from SADIEPALOOZA!

group pic 8-22-2015 4-17-12 PM


And we’re back, and counting them down.  I’m Kasey Kaseeem, straight from  the Rainbow Bridge.

And the bridge has had a lot of new arrivals this year in 2015, unfortunately.  One of them was, of course, Ainsley’s older brother, and her biological uncle, Angus Fala.  Here is a picture that has never been seen before, so it is a hidden gem on the countdown.  It is Angus and Ainsley at Dr. Pokey – back from February, when Angus and Ainsley are about to be told that Angus has contracted lymphoma.  Here’s #13 on our countdown – Angus and Ainsley at Dr. Pokey…

angus and ainsley at vet 2-24-2015 11-38-02 AM


And we’re back on the countdown of Ainsley’s favorite 15 pictures in 2015.  I’m Kasey Kaseeem.

Let’s stay in February – and another picture you haven’t seen before.  It is the morning Angus goes to the Rainbow Bridge.  Angus and his devil ball troops, coming in at #12…

angus army before his vet visit 2-28-2015 11-43-57 AM


We’re back and let’s go to our #11 photo in our countdown.

Let’s go on another trip – this time in September, and let’s see if it can play in Peoria!

Ainsley visited the home of the Reeds, home of 2 gorgeous standard poodles.  And also met a visiting Commandor, a member of the Scottie Old Breed, Rascal B. Dascal!  Ainsley tells me that Rascal is renowned for killing a copperhead poisonous snake.  So coming in at #11, Commander Rascal B. Dascal, Daisy the Pitbull, the Reed’s 2 Standard Poodles, and Ainsley (and assorted staff)

group pic in peoria 10-5-2015 2-16-54 PM


We’re 1/3 through out countdown…and I’m Kasey Kaseeem!

#10, and making an appearance also from the Rainbow Bridge is Cary Grant.  Cary died after living at the Institute only 2 weeks, in a loss that still tears at Ainsley and the staff today.  Cute as a button, and smart too…Ainsley’s loss is the Rainbow Bridge’s gain, let me tell ya what.

A day before Cary was diagnosed with a terminal heart condition, Cary and Ainsley and Mr. Bear visited the Aunt Judy Inn in Late November for one of Aunt Judy’s famous photo opps.

So from November, it’s the Christmas Picture, and one you haven’t seen before, where Cary is wondering just why the heck Mr. Bear is here…#10 in our countdown….

Cary Ainsley Mr Bear 11-22-2015 7-20-46 PM


We’re counting them down as we’re looking to the stars, on the Ainsley Institute Top 15 Pictures of 2015.  I’m Kasey Kaseem.

Now, we crack the Top 10.

Ainsley, Catman, and Mama left Mr. Bear guarding Angus Manor (now renamed the Ainsley Institute) for a trip to the Windy City – and paid a visit to Princess Peyton, Handsome Jack, Judy and their respective staffs.  #9 on our countdown is Mama and Ainsley, on a chilly March Saturday afternoon, on the shores of Lake Michigan…

ainsley mama lake michigan 3-7-2015 2-53-29 PM


Let’s move on through the countdown.  A lot of distinguished guests at Ainsley Institute this year.  First to visit was Beril, all the way from down under.  So #8 on our countdown is Beril, Mama, Aunt Judy, and Ainsley in the reception hall of the Ainsley Institute…

beril kim ainsley aunt judy 5-14-2015 9-35-54 AM

And keeping to our theme of down under guests, just 2 days later, the So’s from Perth Australia visited.  And to help Ainsley welcome them, she enlisted the help of Aunt Judy and Uncle Bob, and invited her dear friends Princess Peyton, Handsome Jack, Bee Bee, and Bella.  So here’s #7 on our countdown…and look for Bella and Bee Bee’s Hooman photobombing the picture at the top left of the picture by waving Ainsley’s paw…….

group photo 5-15-2015 9-49-05 PM

We’re more than half way in our countdown – let’s go to #6.  I’m your special guest host, straight from the Rainbow Bridge, I’m Kasey Kaseeem.

Now, let’s keep with our group pic themes.  Just 2 days after this last picture, Ainsley, inspired by all her guests, killed her first baby bunny.  A very eventful day – as Ainsley never killed anything before.  And then 2 days later, she killed again.  Then, 2 days later, ANOTHER KILL.  And later that day, Ainsley hosted Indy and Lucy from Oklahoma, and also Princess Peyton and Handsome Jack surprised everyone by coming too!  So here is #6 in our countdown…from late May, Ainsley, Indy, Lucy, Handsome Jack and Princess Peyton – and that Mr. Bear – and assorted staff…

group pic 5-22-2015 3-30-057


Of the literally thousands of pictures Ainsley’s staff took this year, we are now in the top 5.

Let’s go back to November…the day that Cary Grant came home.  Mama  sure looks happy here.  A happiness that was short lived, unfortunately…

cary awake 11-12-2015 4-07-08 PM


Didn’t they look happy?

#4 on our countdown we are going to February….just 3 days before Angus passed to the Rainbow Bridge.  Here is Angus on a cold February morning.

angus snow 2-25-2015 7-58-07 AM

We’re counting them down, here on the Ainsley McKenna countdown.

Let’s now go to the oldest picture on our countdown – Angus enjoyed a good game, and Scottie Scrabble was one of his favorites.  Let’s go back to January of 2015 – with Angus, Ainsley and that darn Mr. Bear, playing scrabble.  And the words are all words frequently used around Angus Manor (now Ainsley Institute) –

Here’s #3 in our countdown…

angus and ainsley and mr bear scrabble looking up 1-10-2015 8-13-42 PM


Alright we are down to #2.  I’m Kasey Kasseeem.

And just last night I had the opportunity to eat, once again, at the Angus Fala Boiled Egg and Ice Cream Parlor, at the corner of Stoic and Stubborn in the heart of Terrier town…and who was my waiter, but the one and only Cary Grant….not the actor, but the Golden!  And Cary is the subject of our #2 picture…the moment that Ainsley and Cary met for the very first time back on November 12, 2015.  Here’s First Meeting with Ainsley and Cary, taken at Aunt Judy’s!



We’re counting them down, so you don’t have to use math, here on the Ainsley Institute Top 15 of 2015.  And our #1 picture of the year was taken on one of the most pivotal and incredibly sad days ever at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises.  Our #1 picture is from February 28, 2015.

This picture too was taken at the Aunt Judy Inn, just like the #2 picture.

I gotta say, first though, it has been a pleasure presenting these pictures to you.  And I want to thank first off, Ainsley McKenna for giving me this opportunity.  And I want to thank those who helped make these pictures possible – Catman, Mama, Uncle Bob, Aunt Judy, Handsome Jack, Princess Peyton, the So’s, Beril, Indy and Lucy, Judy, The Reeds, Daisy, Commodore Rascal B. Dascal….and last and least, Mr. Bear – who I hardly know and don’t really like!  And let me say that no cats were used in taken these pictures.   Let’s go back to the countdown.

And now – our #1 picture on the Ainsley Institute Top 15 in 2015.  Of course, it will star Angus Fala.


Angus – saying farewell to Uncle Bob…

angus final photo with uncle bob 2-28-2015 11-36-20 AM



That’s it for the countdown….and Angus, reserve me a table in the back please, I’ll be eating lots of eggs and Ice Cream Tonight!  Thanks again for viewing our countdown.  So until we meet again, keep your paws on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.  But don’t reach too high, or your grubby little hands might just get high enough to mark up Angus’s Boiled Egg and Ice Cream Parlor’s exterior – that stucco ain’t easy to clean you know!  So til we meet again, I’m Kasey Kaseeem.





Merry Christmas Everyone!


“The Owner of Angus Fala’s Boiled Egg and Ice Cream Parlor” – by Elena Adam


Happy Holidays all of you:

I’ve had a very eventful year.  First, I died.  And for any of us, that’s pretty dang eventful.

I remember being at Dr. Pokey and a tearful mama was whispering in my ear (no, I’m not telling you what was said – that’s private, confidential, information), and next I know I went to sleep.  Then, I woke up on a train seat, filled with other dogs in the train car, and the train was slowing down.  The conductor came through, said “NEXT STOP, THE RAINBOW BRIDGE TRANSIT STATION.  ALL MUST DEPART!”

Being a Scottie, I don’t usually follow orders, but I had a feeling this was an order I better obey.  So I got off the train as directed – boy, what a busy place it was as I got off the train.  Dogs walking, cats strolling, birds flying, fish in their bowls, all scurrying to and fro.

As i left the platform and entered the Grand Arrival Hall, I saw my Golden Retriever sister, Lady.  And a Scottish Terrier that I recognized from family pictures, her name is Aberdeen.  Boy was I happy to see Lady!  Aberdeen – well, let’s just say the reports I received from my hoomans about how cantankerous, aloof, and moody she can be were well-founded.

They told me what I already knew – that I am at the Rainbow Bridge now.  Got me all settled in- I shared a room with Lady and Aberdeen is down the hall in our three bedroom condo.

So what about this Rainbow Bridge place, you want to know.  Is it all a big meadow, with everyone playing,  frolicking, and stopping occasionally and putting their nose in the air when a hooman comes in?  Heck no!  The poem the vet gives you when one of us dies, while not totally wrong, is misleading!

First off – let’s do the math here.  Every animal that ever died is here (well, not quite – since the Pope opened up Heaven for us pets, many animals went with their hoomans to Heaven.  That’s cut the population quite a bit, and means that now real estate prices have plummeted, as the housing supply is outstripping demand, but I digress).  There are easily 5 billion animals here.  Think of Shanghai on a Saturday night, and multiply that  by 500, and that gives you the scope of this place.

So it’s a big sprawling metropolitan area.  Neighborhoods, suburbs, expressways, subways, trolley cars.  Right in the middle is the Rainbow Bridge Meadow…think Central Park, with the famous Rainbow Bridge at the edge of it.  Do we go to the meadow a lot?  Sure, maybe, some of us.  But we don’t spend all day there.  We got afterlifes to lead, y’know!

Which brings us to what I’ve been doing.  Of course, I offered my services to the Scottie Army, Rainbow Bridge Brigade.  And of course, the work I’ve done on Earth, especially in the Husky-Scottie War of 2009, preceded me here at the Bridge and impressed the Generals here in the Scottie Army.  So I joined the Rainbow Bridge army, after some refresher training, at my old rank as Master Sergeant.

But that’s not all I do.  No siree.  I realized real quick that there are 5 billion animals here, 2 billion of them dogs, and not  much of a supply of Boiled Eggs AND Ice Cream (preferably Vanilla).  So I found an empty storefront in the heart of TerrierTown (got a good deal on it too, see my discussion above about the decline in real estate prices), and opened up my store this past Summer.  “Angus Fala’s Boiled Egg and Ice Cream Parlor.”

It’s done quite well too.  Got lots of specials and events at the Parlor.  Tuesday is buy a dozen boiled eggs, get the thirteenth free (I  call that an Angus Dozen).  Thursday is Piano Night – Liberace plays in the main dining room with his 27 dogs accompanying him.  Saturday night, the mayor of Terriertown, The Late Great Fala himself, FDR’s beloved Scottie, holds court in the backroom.  Fala can really put away the vanilla ice cream with hamburger sprinkles, let me tell you what.  And Sunday afternoons, I bring in an expert to lecture the patrons on various subjects.  So far, the expert has been me every week.  I can’t find anyone as knowledgeable or handsome or modest as myself.

Anyway, the Parlor is going great guns.  We have it decorated for Christmas too – my Golden sister, Lady, has helped me with that, as you see in the painting above.

In fact, the business is doing so well, I just opened up a second location, in the Rainbow Bridge Meadow, that you might have noticed from the picture of the new Golden Retriever who joined my Rainbow Bridge family late last month.  That would be Cary Grant 2.0.  Cary Grant 1.0 stayed with us a while this past Fall, but he moved on and moved in with Goldens that he was actually related to, since he never officially was a dog owned by the staff back down there at Angus Manor.  But Cary 2.0 is a member of the family – so he has moved in with Lady, and I took the third bedroom of the condo. (When Ainsley joins us, she will be crashing on the couch in the den)

Cary Grant Bridge

“Cary Grant at the Rainbow Bridge” by Kate Wood

Anyway, I will answer your questions now, gentle reader.  What’s that you say?  Have I seen your dog that is up here? Yes, I know your dog.  I probably have served your dog AT the Parlor, or served WITH him in the Scottie army.  And I go to the Rainbow Bridge Transit Station every afternoon to meet the new arrivals, and give them an advertising flyer for my Parlor, so I met your dog there too if he or she arrived in the past 8 months or so.

Next question?  Does your dog miss you?  Of course.  Your dog misses you greatly, but we stay busy here, that’s for sure.

Any more questions?  No?  None?  Great, that’s it, I got to get back to the parlor.  I’m busing in some illegal immigra…excuse me, undocumented workers…to work the kitchen at the Parlor.  That’s gonna drive down my labor costs, even though it means I’m gonna have to lay off a bunch of Pomeranians.  Some of the business strategies we learned down on Earth are directly transferable here, doncha know.

Anyway, this is going to conclude my Holiday Newsletter.  I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas.

Sincerely, and Hooyah!

Master Sergeant Angus Fala

Rainbow Bridge Scottie Brigade, and Sole Proprietor, Angus Fala’s Boiled Egg and Ice Cream Parlor with two great locations to serve you better, right in the heart of TerrierTown at the corner of Stoic and Stubborn, and our new location at the Rainbow Bridge Meadow