“Mr. Bear, thank you for applying at Angus Fala Worldwide, and as you know, we are known especially for our core competencies of Vermin Protection, Home and Neighborhood Watch, Seminars in Scottitude, and import-exporter, but mainly importer, of Devil Balls. But what do you think you can offer? Why exactly should we hire you?
One of the many burdens I have to bear is living with stoopid cats. You know, as a Scottie, I am a born and bred cat killer, but I’ve never gotten to enjoy the taste of warm cat flesh and kitty cat blood because, since I was a puppy, anytime I give the cats a good ol’ Scottish Terrier chasin’, Mama yells “ANGUS, LEAVE THE CAT ALONE!”
Now, like all Scotties, I don’t pay too much mind to what the hoomans think, but the tone of the yell made me realize, at a young age, that I better pay attention to this order of the hooman, or as I like to call hooman orders, a “request.”
So today, Mama headed off to Chicago to see her Headache Doctor. So it’s a stressful day for me – it means we have to guard Angus Manor vigorously from terrorists, criminals, hobos, joggers, and cyclists, ration our full bowls of food and water, and forgo any hand given treats. But the worse thing of all is – we have to spend all day looking at the stoopid cats climb all over the counter!
A lot of my dog friends are being killed off – on Facebook. We’ve had a nice, vibrant place on Facebook, with lots of Scottie people talking to each other and a lot of Scotties, with their own accounts, discussing the world from their paws. A lot of users have spent a lot of time there – it’s been quite helpful and entertaining. Only an idiot would try to kill it. Who could be that kind of idiot? Lord Zuckerberg and his minions.
Rumors have been flying for a while that pet profile accounts were in jeopardy. But they were only far away animals, not even Scotties, so I paid little attention. Then a few months ago, Dusty Border Terrier got the axe, but he had already passed away, and was a Border Terrier, so it didn’t concern me much. Then last week, the pace quickened – first Dougal, then Becky Bluebonnet, and then, and this got my attention, Haagis McAttitude, one of the best posters ever. Then Snowy, then Ficelle, then Penny, then Figaro, then Buba, and it started to really really hurt. These were close friends. And this morning, Ruffs Kieslowski. My very first Scottie international friend.
So that’s why I am here. A refuge from Facebook, a place far away from the evil realm of Lord Zuckerberg – a little modest place that I can control, and can assert my law. Because I wear a badge.
Sheriff Angus Fala
Greetings Hoomans and Fellow Scotties.
This is my first post, here in this domain which I am not beholden to the evil and capricious rules of Lord Zuckerberg, and his anti-dog agenda. Since I don’t have opposable thumbs, please bear with me, as I will get this site up to speed and to the quality that you would expect from a product of Angus Fala Worldwide, Enterprises.
Sgt. Angus Fala, CEO
Angus Fala Enterprises, Worldwide.