Saturday at Angus Manor

Angus Log –  Saturday January 10, 2014.

I woke up the hoomans at 7:15 am…barking.  Apparently, they foolishly and irresponsibly thought they could sleep in because it is the weekend.  Nope.  Not gonna happen.  I have things to do, no rest for the weary.

Hooman tried to give me some meds, and as per usual, put it in Carl Buddig Turkey.  (I used to get them in Greenies Pill Pockets, but I started rejecting those back in 2012).  They didn’t adequately wrap my pills, so the first turkey slice I got the turkey, but the pills fell out.  Here is the picture right after it happened.

-The green/black pill in the far right corner is my Vetoryl ($3 a pill, the big blue pill is my Demamarin, the little white one is my Melatonin-
-The green/black pill in the far right corner is my Vetoryl ($3 a pill, the big blue pill is my Demamarin, the little white one is my Melatonin-

Then, after I got my pills, I rested a bit, then time for my midday patrol.  It was about 10 degrees, but not much wind.  I went out wearing Ainsley’s Dress Uniform, cause my dress uniform from Scottie Logistics, Southern Command (Australia) doesn’t fit me anymore, since I lost so much weight this year.  And Ainsley prefers to go au naturel…cause she is a bit of a non-conformist hippie, I believe.

2015Jan10AngusSnow
– Here I am in Ainsley’s Battle Dress Uniform on a snowy Saturday afternoon –

Well, we were especially on the lookout today for the French Female Terrorist, but I can say with certainty she is not in the neighborhood.  Apparently, no Huskies, Bicyclists, Joggers, Vagrants, Thieves, or Airedales were in the ‘hood either today.  We saw no one.  So no acoustic salvos had to be fired.  We did take one casualty though.  Ainsley started limping half way through the patrol, whining she had snow stuck in her paw.  Well, a few slaps by me to her head, and some berating she is a yellow belly coward, and we got her on the move again.  Morale is my middle name, and the beatings will continue until morale improves.  So here is the combat photograph as Ainsley and I enter the gate to enter the Angus Manor Compound.

2015Jan10ReturnPatrol
– Ainsley in front of the picture looking stoopid, and me looking smart, in full dress reds –

Well, we then earned a well deserved rest.  As you see here, I am relaxing on my pillows, while the stoopid cats are lounging around in Mama’s lap.  If you notice the white dots on my beard and snout it is the snow melting.  After such a grueling patrol, we rested all day.

2015Jan10AngusRelax
– Resting in the Entertainment Room – Barracks –

Well, a pretty uneventful Saturday.  But as we say in the Scottie army, any Saturday you can walk away from is a good one.  See you Sunday.

Hooyah,

Sgt. Angus Morale Fala

Today at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises

Cold snowy day, again, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t hard at work at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises.  Working hard to have you serve us better.

Today, my crackhead executive assistants, Mr. Bear, and Ainsley, came in to my office for us to discuss some issues.  Mainly, their failures in relationship to my linguistic magnificence, and how that perceptual dissonance is causing a quid pro quo juxtaposition in multi platform reality outputs in terms of customer performance metrics.

In other words, in non business, laymen’s terms, they both suck.

2015 Jan 8 AFE

Monday Night Snowy Patrol

A cold snowy night at Angus Manor tonight.  They say it’s gonna be quite the snow storm and coupled with some frigid weather – negative 15 degrees Fahrenheit by Thursday morning.

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– me just returning from the patrol, Ainsley beside me in her full dress red uniform –

Private Ainsley and yours truly just returned safely from my nightly patrol.  Here you see me, wearing my high tech camouflage winter wear.  Though I gotta wonder what the boys in Scottie Logistics are thinking, going with the orange and blue camo pattern.  Don’t know what color the snow is over at the Homeland of Scotland, but here in the frontiers of Illinois, it comes in one color – white.

So sleep well under your warm blanket of freedom, and know that Ainsley is out there on that wall.  Myself – well, I’ll be snuggled right next to you in that warm blanket of freedom.  It’s too dang cold for Senior Master Sergeants in this Scottie’s Army!

Hooyah.  Angus Fala

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– Ainsley still on sentry duty outside. Fool! –

Last Daytime Patrol of the Year

2014 Dec 31 Last PatrolTo: Scottie High Command
From: Sgt. Angus Fala
Date: 31 December 2014
Time: 08:00 Local Time
Location: Local Proximity and Environs, Firebase Angus Fala

Description: Went on a patrol this morning with Private Ainsley McKenna.  Seen here, you can tell we went out equipped in our Winter Gear, as the actual temperature was 1 degree Fahrenheit (-17 degrees Celsius), with a windchill approaching negative 10.  Ainsley was wearing her full dress Battle Scottie Uniform, as supplied by Scottie Logistics – Southern Division (B. Murray- Australia).  I have lost far much to weight to wear my dress uniform from Ms. Murray, so I had to wear just a conventional sweater.  Even then, it just hanged off me. Normally, as you know, I mock Scotties that wear their sweaters when it is like 40 degrees, but once we approach zero, we appreciate the warmer gear.

Enemy Encounters: None.  Very quiet.  We did get barked at by the Yorkies from their position in the front window of the next door house, but they are not hostile.  Just stoopid.

Unless an emergency arises, my next communication will be in 2015.

Hooyah!

Sgt. Angus Fala

Sunday Afternoon Drive

Here at Angus Manor, after church, we like to go on a Sunday drive.  It typically consists of a swing through McDonald’s and heading out of town to do a little barking at the cows.  So we all piled into the Angus Mobile, wearing our sunday bests – me and Ainsley in our standard issue Scottie skirts, and Mr. Bear wearing his shorts and no shirt – and took off.  See picture below.

Driving
Click to Enlarge Pic

Well – we hadn’t even made it to McDonald’s, before our local Po-Po (that would be Police for those of you who are cool-impaired) decide to pull us over.  Obviously, a textbook case of PROFILING.  Well, Ainsley and I wanted to get out and bark at the cop that we were gonna sic Al Sharpton on him, but Mr. Bear, calmly handled things, produced his driver’s license (see below), and the police officer bid us a good day, and let us go on  our way.

Mr.BearDriversLicenseLet that be a lesson to you kids out there – a Bear With Credentials is a wonderful thing.

Drive on!

Sgt. Angus Fala

We Almost Lost Ainsley Today

So, Catman (aka Daddy) – takes Ainsley to work with him.  I stayed home, per my usual Modus Operandi.  Ainsley, Catman, Hooman Uncle, Hooman Grandpa, and another dude drive around a bit, to McDonald’s of course, and comes back to the work, leaving Ainsley in the Van (aka Angus Mobile), about 4:20 pm.  Then, about 6:30 pm, Catman leaves work, goes out to the parking lot, and hooman uncle, who is getting in his car, remarks that Catman’s van, (aka Angus Mobile) has its side door open.

OH NO!

Catman immediately rushes to the van, afraid, and expecting to find an empty van, with Ainsley gone.   A door left open, for who knows how long, and a 4 year old Scottie, of course she’s gone, maybe forever, maybe hit by a car, who knows what, right?  Well, the door was indeed open, wide open, but Ainsley was still inside the van, just sitting in the driver’s seat.

WOW!

Don’t know how it happened…don’t know when it happened.  That van, a Chrysler, has had crazy electrical problems before…windows that roll open, windshield wipers that quit working, headlights that stop working, radios that go dark…all sorts of crazy things.  And the doors are electrical – and can be open from a little button on the remote control.  So we don’t know if maybe the door was opened by accidentally pressing the button just minutes before Catman went outside, or if had been open for hours by some crazy random electrical glitch.  All we know is we are all amazed that crazy Ainsley didn’t make a break toward freedom, like she did a couple of years ago when a fence gate was accidentally left open.

WEIRD!

Anyway, everything is ok.  Pic below is tonight, after the almost tragic events, with Ainsley watching the “Amazing Race,”, one of her favorite TV Shows.  A show about travelling – which is funny, since she had her chance to do some travelling today and didn’t take it.

LESSONS!

Staff says they won’t let us stay in the van anymore, and it will be traded in – soon. Ainsley TV

 

Grooming Day!

Today is the worst day of all – grooming day.

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Click to enlarge

Here I am before the grooming –

And here is Ainsley pleading with Catman (aka Daddy) to not let the groomer take her.  Pitiful.

AinsleyPleading
Click to Enlarge

The groomer said we did “ok.” – and time now for your teachable moment.  Never let a groomer say that you were “good,” or “sweet,” or anything like that.  You want to be “bad”, “difficult,” or preferably “we had to call the ambulance to take the groomer to the hospital.  We think her finger might can be reattached.”  That’s what I’m shooting for next time.  But for now, I have to live we “ok.”

And we’re back now at Angus Manor.  Post grooming pics to come later.

Sgt. Angus

Hey Kids! Let’s Play A Game of Low Intensity Asymetrical Warfare!

A little Game we played last night at Angus Manor

Game Conditions: I played the role of Russia, Ainsley played Ukraine, and the chewie that our friend Ficelle Scottie Terrier sent us got to play the role of a Geo-political Asset, in this case The Industrial Heartland of Eastern Ukraine.  Mama got to play the International Community, and Daddy, i.e. Catman, played the Mainstream Media, filming the whole thing.

Here’s how the game Works:

Me, playing Russia, tries to take the chewie, playing the role of Industrial Heartland of Eastern Ukraine, while Ainsley, playing Ukraine, tries to utilize said asset and at the same time keep me from taking it.  Because the Ukraine, i.e. Ainsley, knows she can’t win in open warfare, she has to move it while keeping the conflict low, and I try to take the asset, i.e. chewie, very low-key so I can avoid the condemnation of the International Community, i.e. Mama

Let’s Play the Game:

Looks like I, i.e Russia, lost, and didn’t get Eastern Ukraine, doesn’t it?  HAHA!  Jokes on you!  Once the Mainstream Media got bored and shut off the camera, (probably because the Kardeshians had a fight with Kanye or something), I took the asset, i.e Eastern Ukraine, i.e chewie, while Ainsley had to divert her attention to get a drink of water, i.e. tend to democratic needs that I, Russia, have no use of!  Mama, i.e the International Community, saw the whole thing but said nothing cause I didn’t revert to open warfare to take the asset, and besides, she doesn’t really want to upset me cause of my big bark, i.e Nuclear Weapons.

So once again, I win!

You might ask how come I didn’t get a chewie too, and only Ainsley had one.  Well, I did get one, but I already safely stored my asset in my heartland of the industrial area of Russia’s Ural Mountains.  (i.e – my stomach)

Thanksgiving

Yesterday was a busy travel day for us.

About 1 pm we got loaded in Scottie Personnel Carrier (SPC-NONARMORED) along with my Daddy (i.e. Catman), Mama, and Hooman Grandpa and headed to the Chicago Airport.  Traffic there was terrific (and not in a good way).  We had a few minutes til hooman sis flight arrived at O’hare, so I had a brief pitstop at the tollway Oasis.

Angus Oasis 1I went to sleep while we went back in the SPC-NONARMORED to the airport, but woke up to a start with hundreds of people around the van, and I gave those people at the Arrivals section of Terminal 3 their Barking of a Lifetime.  We met Hooman Sis, and gave her a standard issue haven’t seen you in 6 months Scottie Greeting (Happy, tail wagging, but not crazy overboard in demonstrative affection – not as crazy drooling on you, jumping on you happy like a Golden Retriever greeting, but happier than a cat greeting).

Then on the way home we stopped at the Oasis again to get Hooman Sis some liquid hydration (why she didn’t travel with her standard issue canteen I don’t know).  We saw that WGN-TV was there with their mobile van, and there was a reporter with a cameraman there.  I asked if they wanted me to comment on the tragic events of Facebook deleting Pet Accounts, but they said they weren’t interested, they were there to talk about the traffic.  Typical biased mainstream media.

So Mama came back to the SPC-ARMORED(Seen here with Ainsley watching for threats to her, and we headed back west toward the Manor.

Ainsley Oasis 2But we didn’t go home just yet.  We stopped at Harry Carey’s, and while me and Ainsley stayed in the SPC-ARMORED, the hoomans got dinner.  But HOLY COW, they brought us some Filet Mignon.  Tell ya what, that bespectacled sportscaster sure knew how to fix a mean cow.

Finally, we got home, about 8 pm.  And this pic shows it was all worth the trouble.  It’s Hooman Sis, Ainsley and Me, from Left to Right.

Thanksgiving At HomeAnyway, Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.

Sgt. Angus Fala