Today, I decided to take a page out of the TV Show “Undercover Boss.” I put on a disguise, and headed in to Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises to see how my employees behave when I am not around.
But I had a snag. I think the employees are on to me. They handed me a treat when I came around their desk, just like they normally do. I don’t understand. Just like the boss on the TV show, I wore a disguise. I wore a new snazzy red plaid collar, instead of my normal old snazzy blue plaid collar. Don’t understand this at all. How did they know? I bet that Ainsley tipped them off.
So this morning, we were sitting around the conference table at Angus Manor, celebrating Ainsley’s 5th Birthday yesterday by pointing out all her shortcomings when we had a knock on the door….
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
“Who is it? “I barked?
“Is there a Mr. Biggie Bear here?,” said the man in the suit with the slick backed oily hair
“Yes, he is an unpaid intern here at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises” I growled
“I’m a Dallas Texas Attorney. My name is Dewey Cheatem, and I have something for Mr. Bear – HERE! It’s his son!”
Well, lo and behold, we now have a Hippie Bear Cub at the Manor. I asked Mr. Bear to explain himself – and he said “well, boss, it was a turbulent time, and I was working as an undercover bear at an anti war protest rally in Austin, and let’s just say it was me…it was her…a bottle of tequlia…love in the air…and a night of passion”
Well, this kinda makes the year in review of Ainsley’s shortcomings pale in significance, I’d say.
Merry Christmas from me, the CEO, at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises!
Today Ms. Mary in the front office distributed the performance bonuses (aka treats) to me, Ainsley, and Mr. Bear. (See Pic)If you notice closely, you can see that Mr. Bear shocked and awed us with his skills. He can balance a treat on his nose FOR HOURS, and never seems tempted to eat it. Weird huh? I bet he is sorry his mouth is sewed shut now!
We got lots of performance bonuses, because our performance must be good. Our business is Angus Fala Worldwide, and business is good!
Now, back to work!
Sgt. Angus Fala, CEO
Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises
We are happy here at Angus Manor, Worldwide HQ for Angus Fala Worldwide International, that Hooman Sister is spending the Christmas week with us from her home in Oklahoma.
But did she have to bring her cats tooooooooooooo?
A little background – As you may know, we live with twin gray cats, Herman and Lily. As cats go, they don’t give us no trouble. They never slap us or hiss at us, and know their place is to stay on high ground and occasionally push down some treats or food on the floor so we Scotties can confiscate. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not soft on cats – I know cats are vermin but we tolerate Herman & Lily, pretty much most of the time, cause if we give chase we immediately hear from the staff “ANGUS – AINSLEY – LEAVE THE CATS ALONE!!!” So we have a detente toward the cats. We don’t view them as real , but we grudgingly tolerate them as long as they stay high – literally.
However, this week it is a different story. Hooman sis brought her cats from Oklahoma. I call them Diablo Uno and Diablo Dos, because they are evil personified – or in this case, catified. They hiss, they slap, they bite, they fight, they open cabinets, they jump on things – in short they are pure 100% unadulterated evil.
So because I want to be safe, I wear my safety gear around these cats. Like you see here…when Diablo Dos had the high ground on me, and can reign destruction on my head, I decided it was time to don my hard hat. Now, I just need to find my safety goggles.
05 Dec 2014 0715 Local Time From: Sgt. Angus Fala Re: Post Patrol Report – First Patrol for PFC Biggie Bear Area: Environs and immediate proximate vicinity of Angus Manor, Northern Illinois Scottie Patrol Assigned Area Enclosures and/or Attachments: Photographic Representation (see above) of myself, Sgt. Angus, and PFC (Formerly Mr.) Bear prior to Patrol Troops and Weaponry: Sgt. Angus Fala, Cpl Ainsley McKenna (not shown), PFC Biggie Bear, Scottie Staff Hooman Combat Photographer (Expendable), 2 Polymer Based Attack Repellent Cranium Cover i.e. PBARCC (Ainsley refuses to wear hers), 2 Standard Issue Scottie Jaws Rated for Closed Quarter Combat, and Standard Issue Scottie Mouths for Long Range Acoustic Salvo Launching Casualties: 0 Enemies Contacted:0
Details of Patrol: It was the first patrol for PFC Bear. Bear successfully attended pre-combat training for a cadet of his rank, however, people kept honking and laughing and yelling and pointing – almost like they have never seen a Bear and a Scottie wearing a helmet walking down the sidewalk before. Weird. Obviously, stealth was not achieved – I am recommending that PFC Bear attend and successfully complete Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises – Defense Division: How to be a Ninja seminar.
I certify these details to be accurately recalled: Sgt. Angus Fala