Cats!

In the Book Of Scotties, it is written that Scotties view cats as Vermin.  And a Scottish Terrier is supposed to eliminate his planet of all Vermin.  That is the mission we have been tasked with and we take it seriously.  All Scotties, even my dwarf Scottie sister Ainsley, know this.

Unfortunately, no one told my hooman staff.

I have lived with cats since day one here at Angus Manor.  When I arrived on the scene on Father’s Day, 2001, there were 3 here – a 17 year old Black Cat named Prissy, an 8 year old Siamese named Dinah, and a long haired orange boy named Pickles. I learned quickly they all have their claws, and if I chase them, I get reprimanded by the staff.  Well, the three original cats have all moved on to the cat equivalent of the rainbow bridge, 3 other cats have come and gone from the manor, and now we only have the gray haired twins, Herman and Lily.  As Cats go, they seem ok.  Never give me trouble, and never would dare to lay a paw on me in anger.  In fact, sometimes they snuggle up to me when I am sleeping, and I don’t pay them any attention.  They aren’t family, but I know to leave them alone, so I pretty much ignore them.  anguscatAnd here’s what sometimes makes me appreciate cats.  Occasionally, hoomans will have a bag of food on the counter, and since cats have counter privileges here and the skills to jump up to high spaces, they will sometimes push the bag of food down to Scottie level.  Sweet!  And sometimes, the hoomans forget to put the catfood out of Scottie paw reach, and there is nothing more delicious than cat food, except maybe the cat litter poo hors d’oeuvres.   Here I am partaking in some delicious forbidden cat food.catfood4

So I am open minded enough to appreciate the feline species.  As you see here…Angus Hello KittyHowever, for the past week, Hooman sister has been visiting us.  And while her presence is most welcome, she brought her two evil cats – Diablo Uno and Diablo Dos.  And they are pure unmitigated undiluted evil.  They get into everything, always thinking of ways to cause trouble, and aren’t above trying to hiss at me and  slap me with their claws.

So I have been reading a volume out of the Non-Fiction section of the Angus Manor Library – and I am quite concerned.  Diablo Uno and Dos are supposed to be leaving tomorrow.  Til then, I think I will be sleeping with one eye open.CatBookDec2014

Talk to you next week – I hope!

Sgt. Angus Fala

Safety First at Angus Fala Worldwide International

We are happy here at Angus Manor, Worldwide HQ for Angus Fala Worldwide International, that Hooman Sister is spending the Christmas week with us from her home in Oklahoma.

But did she have to bring her cats tooooooooooooo?

A little background – As you may know, we live with twin gray cats, Herman and Lily.  As cats go, they don’t give us no trouble.  They never slap us or hiss at us, and know their place is to stay on high ground and occasionally push down some treats or food on the floor so we Scotties can confiscate.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m not soft on cats – I know cats are vermin but we tolerate Herman & Lily, pretty much most of the time, cause if we give chase we immediately hear from the staff “ANGUS – AINSLEY – LEAVE THE CATS ALONE!!!”   So we have a detente toward the cats.  We don’t view them as real , but we grudgingly tolerate them as long as they stay high – literally.

However, this week it is a different story.  Hooman sis brought her cats from Oklahoma.  I call them Diablo Uno and Diablo Dos, because they are evil personified – or in this case, catified.  They hiss, they slap, they bite, they fight, they open cabinets, they jump on things – in short they are pure 100% unadulterated evil.

So because I want to be safe, I wear my safety gear around these cats.  Like you see here…when Diablo Dos had the high ground on me, and can reign destruction on my head, I decided it was time to don my hard hat.  Now, I just need to find my safety goggles.

December 2014 Construction Site
click pic to enlarge

Watching the stoopid cats

One of the many burdens I have to bear is living with stoopid cats.  You know, as a Scottie, I am a born and bred cat killer, but I’ve never gotten to enjoy the taste of warm cat flesh and kitty cat blood because, since I was a puppy, anytime I give the cats a good ol’ Scottish Terrier chasin’, Mama yells “ANGUS, LEAVE THE CAT ALONE!”

Now, like all Scotties, I don’t pay too much mind to what the hoomans think, but the tone of the yell made me realize, at a young age, that I better pay attention to this order of the hooman, or as I like to call hooman orders, a “request.”

So today, Mama headed off to Chicago to see her Headache Doctor.  So it’s a stressful day for me – it means we have to guard Angus Manor vigorously from terrorists, criminals, hobos, joggers, and cyclists, ration our full bowls of food and water, and forgo any hand given treats.  But the worse thing of all is – we have to spend all day looking at the stoopid cats climb all over the counter!  IMG_3717