Situation this weekend – BUSY!

We are at Defcon t2015Jan16SnowAttention!  May I have your attention please?

This weekend’s High will be 40 degrees, which will be, I think, 4C to you Non-American Scotties.  Very warm for winter time.

And if my 14 winters are any guide, a break in the cold weather means everyone is gonna be out there.  Walkers, Runners, Bicyclists, Terrorists, Hobos, Huskies, Foo-Foo Dogs, and maybe even the dreaded cat in a stroller.

So make sure you have plenty of rounds of Acoustic Salvos (barks) – both long, medium and short range units.  And be ready for some close action growling and howling.  And grab your Standard Scottie Issue Polymer Based Attack Repellent Cranium Cover (PBARCC – or Helmets to you non-military vocabulary impaired out there) and work that fence line.

Be careful – I’d like to see you all back here on Monday.

Hooyah!  Sgt. Angus Fala

Cats!

In the Book Of Scotties, it is written that Scotties view cats as Vermin.  And a Scottish Terrier is supposed to eliminate his planet of all Vermin.  That is the mission we have been tasked with and we take it seriously.  All Scotties, even my dwarf Scottie sister Ainsley, know this.

Unfortunately, no one told my hooman staff.

I have lived with cats since day one here at Angus Manor.  When I arrived on the scene on Father’s Day, 2001, there were 3 here – a 17 year old Black Cat named Prissy, an 8 year old Siamese named Dinah, and a long haired orange boy named Pickles. I learned quickly they all have their claws, and if I chase them, I get reprimanded by the staff.  Well, the three original cats have all moved on to the cat equivalent of the rainbow bridge, 3 other cats have come and gone from the manor, and now we only have the gray haired twins, Herman and Lily.  As Cats go, they seem ok.  Never give me trouble, and never would dare to lay a paw on me in anger.  In fact, sometimes they snuggle up to me when I am sleeping, and I don’t pay them any attention.  They aren’t family, but I know to leave them alone, so I pretty much ignore them.  anguscatAnd here’s what sometimes makes me appreciate cats.  Occasionally, hoomans will have a bag of food on the counter, and since cats have counter privileges here and the skills to jump up to high spaces, they will sometimes push the bag of food down to Scottie level.  Sweet!  And sometimes, the hoomans forget to put the catfood out of Scottie paw reach, and there is nothing more delicious than cat food, except maybe the cat litter poo hors d’oeuvres.   Here I am partaking in some delicious forbidden cat food.catfood4

So I am open minded enough to appreciate the feline species.  As you see here…Angus Hello KittyHowever, for the past week, Hooman sister has been visiting us.  And while her presence is most welcome, she brought her two evil cats – Diablo Uno and Diablo Dos.  And they are pure unmitigated undiluted evil.  They get into everything, always thinking of ways to cause trouble, and aren’t above trying to hiss at me and  slap me with their claws.

So I have been reading a volume out of the Non-Fiction section of the Angus Manor Library – and I am quite concerned.  Diablo Uno and Dos are supposed to be leaving tomorrow.  Til then, I think I will be sleeping with one eye open.CatBookDec2014

Talk to you next week – I hope!

Sgt. Angus Fala

Just Another Friday Morning at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises

DSCN0614What have we here?  Looks like the Shipping Department has left a box of product open and unattended on the facility floor.


DSCN0616Just what are the boys in shipping sending out today…hmmmm..


DSCN0618Looks like we have Scottie Toys, Devil Balls, some Scottie Magnets, and oh – what’s this – some Bully Sticks.


DSCN0624Yep, the inspection by your CEO is now over.  Everything seems in order.


DSCN0620But I’m gonna take off a Bully Stick for Quality Control Purposes.

Bad Time of the Year for Break-ins Here in the Neighborhood

Every year about this time virtuallyevery house in the neighborhood gets broken into.  The crime normally happens at night.  It’s always the same perpetrator, or so it seems.  I’ve checked around, and I’ve worked up a physical description of the suspect.

He is a male, race is Caucasian, obese, with gray hair and gray facial hair.  Wears a suit, red in color.  Typical M.O. is entering residences through the roof area.  Known to steal baked goods and dairy products (i.e. milk and cookies).

AngusXmasnightI’ve instituted nightly patrols and sentry duty, as you see here from last night.  This crime ain’t goin’ down this year.  Not this time.  Not on my watch.  I got this.

Sgt. Angus Fala

Grooming Day!

Today is the worst day of all – grooming day.

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Here I am before the grooming –

And here is Ainsley pleading with Catman (aka Daddy) to not let the groomer take her.  Pitiful.

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The groomer said we did “ok.” – and time now for your teachable moment.  Never let a groomer say that you were “good,” or “sweet,” or anything like that.  You want to be “bad”, “difficult,” or preferably “we had to call the ambulance to take the groomer to the hospital.  We think her finger might can be reattached.”  That’s what I’m shooting for next time.  But for now, I have to live we “ok.”

And we’re back now at Angus Manor.  Post grooming pics to come later.

Sgt. Angus

Graduation Day

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The Pageantry that is the Angus Fala Devil Ball Graduation Ceremony – click on this picture to see a full screen of this wonderful event.

I didn’t post anything this weekend, because I was busy for a very solemn ceremony.  Graduation day at Angus Manor.

15 Devil Ball recruits have been trained at Angus’s Devil Ball Boot Camp and Hell Week (another fine service of Angus Fala Worldwide – Defense Industries).

Now, these Devil Ball Soldiers, newly commissioned Private First Class in the Scottie Army, will be dispatched, literally, around the world.

As you see above, I am addressing the new troops, which are attentively listening to me on the rug in front of me, while the rest of my army listens in rapt attention.

I told the new soldiers the following in their graduation address:

Always stick to your cover story.  Always.  Never tell the truth, even when it’s obvious you are lying.

Don’t give a North Korean Hacker your username and password.

Remember – a stranger is an enemy you haven’t met yet.

And finally – Wear Sunscreen.  The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists.

Here you can see another view of my awe-inspiring and modest lecture:

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Addressing the Troops – click on picture to enlarge

Memories

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Good Day Cadets, take a paw, chew em if you got em, and listen up:

Some day soon you will have Scottie War Stories of your own too –

Today, I went outside, and it was a bit cold out.  So I was sitting outside in the snow, about 7 am, when it brought back old memories.

Bad memories, flashback memories –  of the tough cold Siberian Winters, when I was assigned to the Scottie 21st Illinois Regiment during the Scottie-Huskies War of 2008.  We were on the front, in November, in the snowy Siberian late Autumn – about 50 klicks north of Omsk, when a whole battalion of Siberian Huskies turned suddenly and lit into us.  I never will forget the sights and the sounds and the smells.  First the long range Acoustic Salvos (Barking to civilians) followed by low frequency short range acoustic warning sirens (that would be growls to the public) followed by Big Head Curdling screams, yelps, yips, and howls.  Before I knew it, an enemy soldier named Rex had me by the head.  Well, I gave as good as I took, but I took a pretty good wound to the head, and I was evacuated out of the front lines, (Still barking growling and snapping in the arms of my personal staff – I didn’t want to leave the battle) to an Animal Hospital behind the front.

Good Memories, Flashback Memories – There I was in a hospital in Vladivostok – and she was like a Northern Russian Vision – there she was, the most beautiful Russian Wolfhound Nurse I’ve ever seen.  Maybe it was the Toradol talking, but oh how I feel hard for my big Borzoi, with her long sloping muzzle, long coat, long silky brindle coat.  Her name was Pirat, that is Rover in Scottish – but it was not to be.  I was small, she was big, I was from Illinois, she was from Vologda, and I was neutered and she was spaded.

But I digress – sorry bout that.  But put a nip of November cold and snow in the air, and put a PBARCC (Polymer Based Attack Repellent Cranium Cover or Helmet to you civilians) on my head, and it takes this old soldier back.

Anyway, stay safe out there.

Hooyah,
Sergeant Angus Fala