Grooming Day!

Today is the worst day of all – grooming day.

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Here I am before the grooming –

And here is Ainsley pleading with Catman (aka Daddy) to not let the groomer take her.  Pitiful.

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The groomer said we did “ok.” – and time now for your teachable moment.  Never let a groomer say that you were “good,” or “sweet,” or anything like that.  You want to be “bad”, “difficult,” or preferably “we had to call the ambulance to take the groomer to the hospital.  We think her finger might can be reattached.”  That’s what I’m shooting for next time.  But for now, I have to live we “ok.”

And we’re back now at Angus Manor.  Post grooming pics to come later.

Sgt. Angus

Graduation Day

The Pageantry that is the Angus Fala Devil Ball Graduation Ceremony – click on this picture to see a full screen of this wonderful event.

I didn’t post anything this weekend, because I was busy for a very solemn ceremony.  Graduation day at Angus Manor.

15 Devil Ball recruits have been trained at Angus’s Devil Ball Boot Camp and Hell Week (another fine service of Angus Fala Worldwide – Defense Industries).

Now, these Devil Ball Soldiers, newly commissioned Private First Class in the Scottie Army, will be dispatched, literally, around the world.

As you see above, I am addressing the new troops, which are attentively listening to me on the rug in front of me, while the rest of my army listens in rapt attention.

I told the new soldiers the following in their graduation address:

Always stick to your cover story.  Always.  Never tell the truth, even when it’s obvious you are lying.

Don’t give a North Korean Hacker your username and password.

Remember – a stranger is an enemy you haven’t met yet.

And finally – Wear Sunscreen.  The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists.

Here you can see another view of my awe-inspiring and modest lecture:

Addressing the Troops – click on picture to enlarge

The First Patrol

Angus Mr. Bear PatrolScottie Patrol Report – Form 2325A-Rev 2014

05 Dec 2014   0715 Local Time
From: Sgt. Angus Fala
Re: Post Patrol Report – First Patrol for PFC Biggie Bear
Area: Environs and immediate proximate vicinity of Angus Manor, Northern Illinois Scottie Patrol Assigned Area
Enclosures and/or Attachments: Photographic Representation (see above) of myself, Sgt. Angus, and PFC (Formerly Mr.) Bear prior to Patrol
Troops and Weaponry: Sgt. Angus Fala, Cpl Ainsley McKenna (not shown), PFC Biggie Bear, Scottie Staff Hooman Combat Photographer (Expendable), 2 Polymer Based Attack Repellent Cranium Cover i.e. PBARCC (Ainsley refuses to wear hers), 2 Standard Issue Scottie Jaws Rated for Closed Quarter Combat, and  Standard Issue Scottie Mouths for Long Range Acoustic Salvo Launching
Casualties: 0
Enemies Contacted:0

Details of Patrol: It was the first patrol for PFC Bear.  Bear successfully attended pre-combat training for a cadet of his rank, however, people kept honking and laughing and yelling and pointing – almost like they have never seen a Bear and a Scottie wearing a helmet walking down the sidewalk before.  Weird.  Obviously, stealth was not achieved – I am recommending that PFC Bear attend and successfully complete Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises – Defense Division: How to be a Ninja seminar.

I certify these details to be accurately recalled: Sgt. Angus Fala

Meet our New Employee, Mr. Bear!

Dear Friends, Enemies, and Assorted Hangers-on and Sycophants:

Some of you may remember my post from a couple of weeks ago when I was interviewing Mr. Biggie Bear.  Mr. Bear was seeking full-time high paid employment at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises in order to support his wife and 3 Bear Cubs.

Mr Bear InterviewMany, or maybe it might actually only be one of you, have inquired if Mr. Biggie Bear got employment with my company and if this story has a happy ending and Mr. Bear can now be a productive member of the American workforce and can now support his family.

The answer is no.

Well, let me qualify that – Mr. Bear did not present the proper qualifications for paid employment at Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises.  What are those qualifications, you ask?  Well, I’ll tell ya – Those qualifications for paid employment are:

1. Are you a child?

2. Are you currently living in a 3rd world country, preferably Bangladesh?

3. Does your country have lax child labor and occupational safety laws and enforcement?

If all 3 of those qualifications are met, then you just might be Angus Fala Worldwide Material.  Unfortunately, Mr. Bear did not have any of those 3 items on his resume.

But I got good news.  I was able to extend Mr. Bear an offer as a permanant unpaid, 80 hour a week unpaid intern, and he did accept.  It means he had to divorce his wife and place his 3 cubs in the home of his uncle, Smokey, but hey, personal life is none of my concern.  I’m running a business here, not a social club!

Angus & Mr. Bear Dec 2014Here is Mr. Bear on his first day on the job.  I’m letting him watch as I show him how the CEO of Angus Fala Worldwide (that would be me) digs into his latest performance bonus.

So far, he is doing well.  He is not saying a heck of a lot (unlike Ainsley), but he seems pretty slow and doesn’t move around much either.  Just so he doesn’t mess with my toys, I think we’ll be a-ok.

All the Best,
Sgt. Angus Fala, Chief Executive Officer & Chairman of the Board
Angus Fala Worldwide Enterprises, LTD INC LLC

Hey Kids! Let’s Play A Game of Low Intensity Asymetrical Warfare!

A little Game we played last night at Angus Manor

Game Conditions: I played the role of Russia, Ainsley played Ukraine, and the chewie that our friend Ficelle Scottie Terrier sent us got to play the role of a Geo-political Asset, in this case The Industrial Heartland of Eastern Ukraine.  Mama got to play the International Community, and Daddy, i.e. Catman, played the Mainstream Media, filming the whole thing.

Here’s how the game Works:

Me, playing Russia, tries to take the chewie, playing the role of Industrial Heartland of Eastern Ukraine, while Ainsley, playing Ukraine, tries to utilize said asset and at the same time keep me from taking it.  Because the Ukraine, i.e. Ainsley, knows she can’t win in open warfare, she has to move it while keeping the conflict low, and I try to take the asset, i.e. chewie, very low-key so I can avoid the condemnation of the International Community, i.e. Mama

Let’s Play the Game:

Looks like I, i.e Russia, lost, and didn’t get Eastern Ukraine, doesn’t it?  HAHA!  Jokes on you!  Once the Mainstream Media got bored and shut off the camera, (probably because the Kardeshians had a fight with Kanye or something), I took the asset, i.e Eastern Ukraine, i.e chewie, while Ainsley had to divert her attention to get a drink of water, i.e. tend to democratic needs that I, Russia, have no use of!  Mama, i.e the International Community, saw the whole thing but said nothing cause I didn’t revert to open warfare to take the asset, and besides, she doesn’t really want to upset me cause of my big bark, i.e Nuclear Weapons.

So once again, I win!

You might ask how come I didn’t get a chewie too, and only Ainsley had one.  Well, I did get one, but I already safely stored my asset in my heartland of the industrial area of Russia’s Ural Mountains.  (i.e – my stomach)

Family Game Night

Good Times today at Angus Manor.

My hooman sister was home from Oklahoma for the weekend, and my hooman cousin, who is at Bradley University, came to visit.  We played this game called Pandemic – which is about preventing a disease from destroying the world.  It’s a collaborative game, which means all the players play together for a common goal.  Personally, I like to go solo, cause I’m a loner – a rebel – but I guess this new-age touchy feely we are all in this together why can’t we all get along a stranger is a friend we haven’t met yet culture isn’t big on cut-throat throw that witch off the cliff and see if she flies capitalism.  Sigh.  Welcome to Obama’s America I suppose.

IMG_3901Above –  me and my cousin are conferring about our next move.  The epidemic is getting fierce in Asia.  Watch out my Scottie buddies Ruffles & Munchkin in Singapore!

IMG_3903Ruh Roh – above we fixed the epidimic is Asia, but now it is trying to get a foothold in Paris.  Watch out my friends Figaro and Arsene in France!

IMG_3899Crisis in Europe averted – but oh oh, what’s this?  A breakout in  Brazil!  Watch out Raica and Logan in Sao Paulo!

IMG_3904It was a near thing, but we managed to pull out it out on the last move of the game.  Your Welcome, World!  Me and my cousin Summer are engaging in a celebratory Stare-Off!

My Daily Thanksgiving Turkey!

Thanksgiving TurkeyIt has been 4 years ago this month when I was diagnosed with Cushings (technically, it is Atypical Cushings, but whose quibbling – symptoms are about the same, and most of the meds I take, Demamarin and Vetoryl, are about the same as well), so I say that I get my Thanksgiving Turkey everyday.

I love my personal chef, Mr. Carl Buddig, who creates the turkey that the staff wraps my pills in two times a day.  And it is Turkey and all the trimmings too – as long as your definition of trimmings includes Modified Food Starch, Potasium Lactate, Dextrose, Sodium Phosphate, Caarageenan, Sodium Diacetate, Sodium Nitrate, Natural Flavorings, and my personal favorite, Sodium Erythorbate.

It’s All Good to me, as long as none of those fancy chemicals include any vegetables!