New International Best Seller

I’ve always been paranoid.

Keep your bed, and your spot on the couch.  I’ll just stay here under the kitchen bar stool, where no one can GRAB me and give me a bath.

There are three kinds of people in this world.  Good people.  Bad People.  And those out to GET ME.  Unfortunately, I have never met the first two.

That’s why I have putting laserjet to paper and written my new book – 

I wanna thank President Nixon for writing my foreward.  I never will forget when I was a young intern in his administration.  I didn’t even have 2 days growth of beard back then.  And I told him “Dick, it doesn’t matter how big a lead you have in the polls, you gotta stay paranoid.  For all you know, those Mainstream Liberal Commie Media people…like Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather, Harry Reasoner – they tampered with the polls to give that McGovern the edge.  Don’t get complacent, Dick!  I bet they have all sorts of information in a safe over there at the Waterdoor…or maybe, no, it’s the Watergate Hotel – a president sure could help himself by finding out what is in there you know”

The next day, I went back to skool, and left his administration.  I always wondered if he took my advice.  So I was pleasantly surprised when President Nixon came back rose fromthe grave to write my foreward.

Anyway, I digress.  Hope you enjoy my new book!